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| Having Nothing Better To Do, DHS Issues A Warning About Turkey Cooking |
| 2011-11-22 |
| The Department of Homeland Security is taking any threat seriously during the Thanksgiving holiday, including the ominous threat to our national security posed by turkey fryers. "How dangerous can turkey fryers be?" asks a warning issued on the official DHS Twitter account. "Make sure the turkey is completely thawed before placing in a fryer, or this may happen." The department linked to an ominous video highlighting the dangers of deep frying a turkey. "Use turkey fryers outdoors at a safe distance from buildings." the DHS tweeted, "Never use turkey fryers in a garage or on a wooden deck." Do not attempt to fry a turkey in gasoline. Do not attempt to fry a turkey on board a flying aircraft. Do not attempt to swallow a turkey whole without chewing. Turkeys are not for rectal use. |
| Posted by:Anonymoose |
| #16 Are turkeys not halal? |
| Posted by: Nimble Spemble 2011-11-22 21:06 |
| #15 Only YOU can prevent wild fryers YOU - to your room. |
| Posted by: Pappy 2011-11-22 20:57 |
| #14 "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." :-D |
| Posted by: Barbara 2011-11-22 20:20 |
| #13 William Shatner did a better job with State Farm. Our crappy government doing redundancy. |
| Posted by: newc 2011-11-22 19:59 |
| #12 @swksvolFF Thanks fer the laugh. I nearly blew my Grenache all over the screen. |
| Posted by: BrerRabbit 2011-11-22 19:33 |
| #11 Uh, uh, SWEET POTATOE ANARCHY??? gut nuthin. |
| Posted by: JosephMendiola 2011-11-22 19:24 |
| #10 Only YOU can prevent wild fryers. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2011-11-22 18:41 |
| #9 I suppose it's easier to natter about turkeys than to do real work, like looking for Son-in-Law's documents, including the passport from his home country, which the idiots LOST. |
| Posted by: mom 2011-11-22 17:09 |
| #8 In an Obama administration where the CIA is concerned with "Global Warming" and NASA's mission is to improve Muslim self-esteem it makes perfect sense. |
| Posted by: Cincinnatus Chili 2011-11-22 16:57 |
| #7 Remember to keep and eye out for the beer can chickens, they are always up to something. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2011-11-22 16:09 |
| #6 Adding insult, according to FT, the hated and feared Egyptian secret police, known for brutality and torture, has renamed itself "Homeland Security". |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2011-11-22 16:07 |
| #5 This takes "mission creep" to Orwellian heights: We have always been at war with deep-fried turkeys. |
| Posted by: Pollyandrew 2011-11-22 16:05 |
| #4 How about where Butterball Turkeys have all been sacrificed to Allah (Killed via Halal process - including the Allan dedication) before packaging. That is *all* of the turkeys from Butterball... |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2011-11-22 15:56 |
| #3 Shouldn't we be more concerned about 'promotional' turkeys? |
| Posted by: Procopius2k 2011-11-22 15:37 |
| #2 Dear big sister... Fuck off. |
| Posted by: DarthVader 2011-11-22 15:32 |
| #1 It takes other bureaucracies decades to get to this level of---I don't even know how to call it. |
| Posted by: g(r)omgoru 2011-11-22 14:47 |