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Europe
Islamic cleric bans women from touching bananas, cucumbers for sexual resemblance
2011-12-08
CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any "sexual thoughts."
A perennial concern among the overly religious set.
The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.
Oh brilliant! Set the menfolk to cutting up the symbolic pen1ses themselves, then serving their women as if they were not men but mere wives themselves -- the perfect recipe for a happy Muslim home.
He said that these fruits and vegetables "resemble the male penis" and hence could arouse women or "make them think of sex."
I guess it'll work if it's presented as foreplay...
He also added carrots and zucchini to the list of forbidden foods for women.

The sheikh was asked how to "control" women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.

Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

The opinion has stirred a storm of irony and denouncement among Muslims online, with hundreds of comments mocking the cleric.

One reader said that these religious "leaders" give Islam "a bad name" and another commented said that he is a "retarded" person and he must quite his post immediately.

Others called him a seeker of fame, but no official responses from renowned Islamic scholars have been published on the statements.
Posted by:tipper

#16  I think I speak for a majority of women when I say, cucumbers, bananas, zucchini, and carrots make me think of . . . how bad I want a pizza and a pint of ice cream.
Posted by: RandomJD   2011-12-08 23:33  

#15  Nathan's has graciously offered to make their "Beyond Purchase Date..." Beef-Chicken-PORK blend wieners available at no cost, to Islamic clerics as rear-entry training-aids.
Posted by: Grease Jith3343   2011-12-08 22:04  

#14  So the esteemed cleric knows his carrots and cucumbers, in the Biblical sense?
Posted by: glenmore   2011-12-08 19:54  

#13  Islamic clerics banned from nuts and berries.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2011-12-08 16:46  

#12  If I'm Jewish, does that make me kosher?
Posted by: gorb   2011-12-08 14:04  

#11  "What about the women touching hot dogs?"

I'm sure that's OK, Darth, as long as they're Kosher hot dogs.

Oh, wait....
Posted by: Barbara   2011-12-08 13:39  

#10  What about the women touching hot dogs?
Posted by: DarthVader   2011-12-08 13:36  

#9  Maybe that's why UBL was afraid of pineapples. (Little Nicky reference intended)
Posted by: gorb   2011-12-08 12:00  

#8  So, did he also ban the touching of melons by men to avoid arousal?

I would avise him to ban the touching of cucumbers and bananas by muslim clerics.
Posted by: JFM   2011-12-08 11:18  

#7  Slicing such vegetables was an important duty of the eunuchs who guarded the Sultan's harem in the Ottoman empire.
Posted by: Anonymoose   2011-12-08 10:09  

#6  "Islamic Clerics banned from being around young boys"
Posted by: Frank G   2011-12-08 09:42  

#5  "Vegetables can be really sensuous, don't you think?" - Otter, Animal House
Posted by: Pappy   2011-12-08 09:28  

#4  I would rephrase this as "Islamic cleric calls for removal of minarets for being 'too phallic and homoerotic'."
Posted by: Anonymoose   2011-12-08 08:48  

#3  Sign at Grand Canyon, "No Men Allowed"
Posted by: David Copperfield   2011-12-08 08:29  

#2  So, did he also ban the touching of melons by men to avoid arousal?
Posted by: Procopius2k   2011-12-08 08:21  

#1  In other news, the peach is still halal for Muslim men.
Posted by: Grunter   2011-12-08 07:06  

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