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India-Pakistan
Nuggets from the Urdu press
2012-07-08
Lots of dead maulanas and unruly lawyers thus week. Enjoy!
Ahmad Mukhtar American Defence Minister!
Daily Nawa-e-Waqt quoted Aslam Beg
...occasionally incoherent retired four-star general who was the Chief of Army Staff of the Mighty Pak Army, succeeding the creepy General Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq, after the latter was rubbed out died in an air crash in 1988. The general was involved up to his hairy ears in the Mehran bank scandal, shuffling millions in public money to buy or lease politicians, and is believed one of the prime movers in the sale of Pak nuclear technology to Iran. He ranks second only to Hamid Gul in the volume and flavor of his anti-Western vitriol..
, Hamid Gul
The nutty former head of Pakistain's ISI, now Godfather to Mullah Omar's Talibs and good buddy and consultant to al-Qaeda's high command...
, Abdul Ghafur Haideri (JUIF) and General (Retd) Naseer Akhtar saying that Pakistain's Defence Minister Ahmad Mukhtar was a confused man (bokhla gaya) and was defending opening the NATO
...the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. A cautionary tale of cost-benefit analysis....
supplies. Munawwar Hasan of JI said he sounded more like the defence minister of America and therefore it was dangerous to keep him in the job.

Haqqania holy man killed
Daily Nawa-e-Waqt quoted JUI chief Samiul Haq as condemning the kidnapping and murder of Maulana Naseeb Khan of Madrassa Haqqania in Nowshehra and warned that unless the Deobandi holy man's murderers were captured he would start a countrywide agitation.

Dr Samar Mubarak in 'trubbel'
Daily Express reported that famous nuclear scientist Dr Samar Mubarak Mand claimed that in the coming weeks his work at Thar in Sindh would start producing gas which would be cheaper by three times the gas being produced now. He said China and several other countries were willing to invest in his project.
"So you should, too. I take cash and money orders only."
But the father of the Pak bomb nuclear scientist Dr AQ Khan stated that Dr Samar Mubarak Mand was dishonest (badd-dayanat) in his handling of Reko Diq in Balochistan
...the Pak province bordering Kandahar and Uruzgun provinces in Afghanistan and Sistan Baluchistan in Iran. Its native Baloch propulation is being displaced by Pashtuns and Punjabis and they aren't happy about it...
and Thar in Sindh and had sacrificed the projects to his greed.

Maulana Syed Mohsin assassinated
Daily Nawa-e-Waqt reported that in Laki Marwat the chief of Jamia Haleemia Syed Mohsin was shot to death while he was sleeping inside the madrassa. The Deobandi scholar was a close friend of JUI's Maulana Fazlur Rehman
Deobandi holy man, known as Mullah Diesel during the war against the Soviets, his sympathies for the Taliban have never been tempered by honesty ...
and was head of the local Jirga.

Maulana Aslam Sheikhupuri killed
Daily Nawa-e-Waqt reported that Maulana Aslam in charge of a Deobandi madrassa in Bloody Karachi
...formerly the capital of Pakistain, now merely its most important port and financial center. It may be the largest city in the world, with a population of 18 million, most of whom hate each other and many of whom are armed and dangerous...
was shot by killers riding a bike while the holy man was going to one of his seminaries in Landhi. Seven of his followers also died with him under a rain of bullets.

Kuwait chooses more death penalties
Daily Jang reported that Kuwait's parliament moved further to the right to choose to legislate minimum death sentence for anyone who insulted the Holy Prophet (PTUI!), the Holy Koran, and the sanctified wives of the Prophet (PTUI!). Death will also be given to those insulting Allah which is not the law as yet in Pakistain.

Shahbaz Taseer about to be released?
Daily Jinnah reported that a secret agency had succeeded in getting the son of the late governor of Punjab Salmaan Taseer released from the gunnies in North Wazoo near the safe haven of Haqqani network. The report said that Shahbaz would soon be reunited with his family.

Tayba Cola fraud in the name of Islam
Daily Jinnah reported that one fraudulent drink Tayba Cola named in sacred Islamic words was busted in Sheikhupura when news hounds entered the factory to find children working there with dangerous ingredients in extremely unhygienic surroundings and piles of rubbish. The health inspectors were found to be taking 'monthlies' from the Cola makers.

Stop ranting about honour!
Writing in Jang Saleem Safi stated that the US and Afghanistan have concluded a strategic agreement while Pakistain is ranting about national honour (ratt qaumi waqar aur khud mukhtari ki lagai hui hai). Retired military officer whose children are studying in the US have turned themselves into strategy experts and are making Pak delusional about how the US can do nothing in Afghanistan without Pakistain without telling us that we too can do nothing without America.

Justice Khosa and Kahlil Gibran
Writing in Jang Hamid Mir stated that in a judgement given after 21 hearings the passion for martyrdom of PM Gilani was not assuaged
That's certainly one way to put it. Another would be that he was obeying the law that the president has immunity while in office, and therefore the prime minister has no business demanding the Swiss banks reveal his secrets.
and one of the judges who handed down the verdict was Justice Asif Khosa - who once studied at the Government College Lahore together with PM Gilani - quoted from Arab poet Kahlil Gibran musing about the downfall of an entire nation (qabil-e-reham qaum).
Thus neatly proving that at some point in his law training he had learnt to read.
But the judiciary in the past had punished a prime minister wrongly by siding with a military dictator in what is called judicial murder. Some judges should have read Gibran before taking oath under Chief Justice Dogar.

Chinese diplomat clears confusion
Daily Nawa-e-Waqt reported Chinese ambassador in Islamabad Liu Jian as saying that India made a lot of hue and cry over the material China sent to Pakistain as flood relief through the Sinkiang-Gilgit road. The version spread around the world was that the Chinese army had arrived in Gilgit-Baltistan.
The two are not incompatible -- the Chinese army would be very good at delivering aid. After all, the American one is.
Lawyers go crazy!
Reported in Nawa-e-Waqt lawyers called wukla in the sessions court in Lahore fell upon a police officer (thanedar) named Zohaib and thrashed him thoroughly. One lawyer Abdul Rasheed together with his hooligan son Shahid and other loutish lawyers became aggressive in the extreme and could not be restrained by the public at the court. The maimed policeman refused to forgive the lawyers through compromise.
What on earth do they teach in law schools in the Land of the Pure? It most certainly isn't dignity...
Hizb leader finally nabbed
According to Nawa-e-Waqt leader of the bully boy Islamist organization directed from London was finally enjugged
Book 'im, Mahmoud!
in Lahore. Naveed Butt had been enjugged
Book 'im, Mahmoud!
in the past also but the seriousness of what the Hizbut Tahrir
...an al-Qaeda recruiting organization banned in most countries. It calls for the reestablishment of the Caliphate...
will do after imposing khilafat on Pakistain was not realised before the arrest of some army officers plotting to overthrow the democratic order in Pakistain.
"But they're so cute when they stampt their little feet and threaten jihad on us -- they couldn't possibly have meant it!"
Mushahid Husain's verdict
Talking to Mashriq PMLQ leader Mushahid Hussain stated that America had once again proved that it was not a reliable friend of Pakistain.
Not a friend at all, but a temporary ally: we want access to Afghanistan, and you want money for your Swiss bank accounts, toys for your army, and targets for your pet jihadis.
The establishment in Washington which was running the war in Afghanistan had treated Pakistain shabbily as a result of which a good American ambassador Munter had to leave in protest. He said if Pakistain got hurt by America's conduct then America too will not be able to avoid damage.

Aslam Beg on 'qaumi ghairat'
World famous inventor of the doctrine of strategic defiance ex-Army chief Aslam Beg told Nawa-e-Waqt that if the NATO supply line is resumed it will be disrupted in many places again and again because it will not carry the will of the people. He said the real question at the root of the problem was national honour (qaumi ghairat).
...and Pakistan's complete lack of such a commodity.
Supreme Court verdict out of legal context
Barrister Aitzaz Ahsan was quoted by Mashriq saying that the Supreme Court judgement punishing PM Gilani was out of the legal context set by the court itself in the indictment. He said those who were favouring the verdict and commenting on it were the same people who were included in the cabinet of a military dictator. Today these people were converted into moral priests.

Jamaat leader killed in Punjab University
Daily Express reported that Owais Aqeel who was a caretaker nazim
...small time big shot, the chief elected official of a local government in Pakistan, such as a district, tehsil, union council, or village council...
of the Islami Jamaat Tulaba
...the student wing of the Jamaat-e-Islami...
student wing of Jamaat Islami was killed in a quarrel over the occupation of a hostel room. After the killing the students attacked VC's office. The faculty staff was manhandled who went on strike asking Punjab government to get them security and said that student leaders were not students of the University. Daily Jinnah reported that Hostel number 9 was the place of conflict where Imran Tarar and others had started shooting. It said two student organizations contesting the turf in Punjab University were causing the disorder.
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