[NYPOST] He thought he was a woman trapped in a man's body -- but it turns out he's "just another boring straight guy.""Once she got out of my body all that was left was... me. Dunno where she went. But I'm not transgender! I just like wearing pink underwear!"
ABC News editor Don Ennis strolled into the newsroom in May wearing a little black dress and an auburn wig and announced he was transgender and splitting from his wife. He wanted to be called Dawn.
"But don't get fresh!"
But now he says he suffered from a two-day bout of amnesia that has made him realize he wants to live his life again as Don.
"I'm done with all that stuff! I wanta drink beer and burp! I wanta scratch my butt whilst I'm watching football on the teevee, maybe even vent a little methane!"
"I accused my wife of playing some kind of cruel joke, dressing me up in a wig and bra and making fake ID's with the name 'Dawn' on it.
"Honest! I went on a bender and I woke up and there was my bra, hanging from my nipple!"
"Seriously," Ennis wrote in a memo he posted to the newsroom bulletin board Friday, explaining his shock after he woke up from what he called a "transient global amnesia" last month.
"It was induced by my evil twin, while I was recovering from a subdural hematoma! I knew right then that he was the real killer!"
The memo was first obtained by the website NewsBlues.com
"Hey, Harry! Look at dis! You remember that ABC guy who showed up dressed like a broad?"
"It became obvious this was not the case once I took off the bra -- and discovered two reasons I was wearing one," he said, referring to his hormone-induced breasts.
"Whoa! Bartender! Milk for everyone!"
"I thought it was 1999 . . . and I was sure as hell that I was a man," Ennis said in the e-mail titled "Not Reportable, Very Confirmed."
"Uhhh... Honey? Have you seen my manly member?"
"Fortunately, my memories of the last 14 years have since returned. But what did not return was my identity as Dawn," said Ennis, who had been wearing lipstick, skirts and heels.
"She left me! Forever! It's all over! [Sob!]"
"I am writing to let you know I'm changing my name . . . to Don Ennis. That will be my name again, now and forever. And it appears I'm not transgender after all.
"I'm just a dumbass who watches too many soap operas and whose wife is mainly glad to have somebody like me. To take out the garbage."
