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-Short Attention Span Theater-
NFLers line up to star in ads for men's butt wipe
2013-09-18
[NYPOST] This has got to be one of the oddest promotions to involve NFL players -- no ifs, ands or, er, butts.
Starts out well, doesn't it?
Four NFL linemen have signed to help a small Venice, Calif., company crack a new market -- moistened toilet paper -- targeted at men.
Kinda like relabeled Wet Wipes.
Mostly like a piece of paper towel and tap water.
Scented tap water, my friend. Likely from Gary, Indiana...
The sector, just 3 percent of the $8.7 billion toilet paper category, is usually aimed at infants and toddlers but the four burly centers are hoping to change that with a product cheekily called "One Wipe Charlies."
Do I get my money back if it takes more than one?
I'd hate to be the clerk who deals with returns. Worse, I'd hate to be the person who didn't get the One Wipe Charlies returns job!
The players -- the Dallas Cowboys' Travis Frederick , the Minnesota Vikings' John Sullivan, the Buffalo Bills' Eric Wood, and the San Diego Chargers' Nick Hardwick -- will be part of a marketing blitz, entitled "Clean Snap," to kick off in two weeks.
That campaign's gonna kick... ummm... butt.
It's the brainchild of Mike Dubin, CEO of Dollar Shave, who told The Post: "Most of the centers we approached were game to try this. They are guys not a lot of people are reaching out to. "
Who hasn't occasionally used a wet wipe when conditions have called for them?
"We wanted to make something just for men; it's aspirational: a way to get it done in one," Dubin said.
That's right, ladies. You cannot wipe your butt with this stuff. It won't work on dumb old girls.
A survey conducted by Dollar Shave found that 89 percent of wipe users were very satisfied with the cleanliness of their butt after using a wipe -- versus only 58 percent for traditional TP.
A wipe / That's real / No rash to heal / A soothing / Velvet after-feel / Butt Wipe
How far we've come: From Burma Shave to One Wipe Charlies.
"I've been using butt wet wipes for years," said Dubin, "Its an enjoyable experience."
Posted by:Fred

#11  Don't be a such a Tight End

The Butt Fumble you prevent,
May be yours.

Posted by: swksvolFF   2013-09-18 19:49  

#10  Obamawhipes -- Because everyone needs to get ready for what is coming next.
Posted by: AIRANDEE   2013-09-18 13:18  

#9  Well that is a shitty ad campaign.
Posted by: DarthVader   2013-09-18 12:27  

#8  I guess it really is a "crack market".
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2013-09-18 12:08  

#7  #4 no comments by Skidmark?
Posted by Frank G

Im wiping a tear from my eye . No pun intended :)
Posted by: Jereth Gluter7467   2013-09-18 12:04  

#6  Don't knock it if you haven't tried it.

Baby wipes, not the soon-to-be-released, expensive, he-man wipes.
Posted by: Bobby   2013-09-18 12:02  

#5  Hey, it's gotta be cheaper than a bidet.
Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305   2013-09-18 11:53  

#4  no comments by Skidmark?
Posted by: Frank G   2013-09-18 11:35  

#3  Apparently it's too much effort to grab a C-fold and hit it with water while you're on the can...
Posted by: Raj   2013-09-18 10:35  

#2  Cut to Tom Brady,in soft lens looking that the wipe, saying "Indianapolis..."
Posted by: Uncle Phester   2013-09-18 09:15  

#1  We find this interesting?
Posted by: Redneck Jim   2013-09-18 07:04  

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