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| -Short Attention Span Theater- | |
| Weatherman "happy to go extinct" | |
| 2013-09-29 | |
| Intermediately high creep factor. And yet Bill Ayers is still around... A meteorologist who has covered weather for the Wall Street Journal tweeted that he has decided not to have children in order to leave a lighter carbon footprint, and is considering having a vasectomy. He also vowed to stop flying after the world's recent climate-change report made him cry. A skinless man in a sandpaper world...
Except the planet has not been warming. Funny, that. Eric Holthaus, a meteorologist who has covered weather for the Wall Street Journal, cried over the phone to his wife before getting on a plane, vowing it will be the last time he flies After she hung up, I bet she wondered: "Why did I marry that loser?" Holthaus was reacting to findings from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which released a report on Friday that found it is "extremely likely" that humans are causing warming trends I'm glad he's going extinct. I never liked him anyway. Whoever he is. On Friday afternoon the weatherman tweeted: 'No children, happy to go extinct, which in and of itself, carries a certain sadness. #IPCC' How would you know about happiness? You cry at science reports! His next tweet said: 'Its a very emotional decision. Mixed feelings. adios babies?' Hello, Jack Daniels? That's his only option now. That and a pistol... According to another tweet from Holthaus, the Dutch artist known as Tinkebell, who calls attention to animal rights issues through works that use the remains of dead animals, had herself sterilised last week for a similar reason. Ewwww Holthaus, who now writes for Quartz, has decided he will also reduce his carbon footprint by giving up on air travel. Taking the fun right out of life, he is. 'I just broke down in tears in boarding area at SFO while on phone with my wife. I've never cried because of a science report before. #IPCC,' was his first tweet on around 2pm on Friday. I cry, too. Some nice old songs, such as Jamey Johnson's In Color, and some old movies bring me to tears, but I promise you my genitalia is intact afterwards. I won't punish myself for my political views and I won't punish my family. This guy is doing both. Bastard. 'I realised just now: This has to be the last flight I ever take. I'm committing right now to stop flying. It's not worth the climate,' he tweeted a few minutes later. Dumbass. SMH The climate's not worth him... Once there were two cavemen, Og and Gug, who lived in adjacent caves. Og was a mean old bastard. He occasionally dragged his wife around by the hair, holding his club in the other hand. His kids were afraid of him and called him names from a real safe distance. The neighbors thought he was nasty. Gug was a more gentlemanly caveman. He was very sensitive, occasionally breaking down in tears because life was so short, nasty and brutish. He, his wife, and his kids were all vegetarians. He was actually sorry for having had kids. The world was such a nasty place he didn't want to inflict it upon them. One day a sabre tooth tiger showed up. Gug broke down in tears, while his wife and kids ran away. The sabre tooth tiger killed him messily and ate him up on the spot. Then the sabre tooth tiger turned his attention to the Og family. It snarled at Og. Og snarled back and bashed its big, flat head in with his club. Then he gutted it with a sharp rock, skinned it, and mounted its head on a chunk of wood in his cave, next to the eleven others he already had there. All of the Ogs and the remainder of the Gugs feasted on the sabre tooth tiger's carcass. After that he grabbed his wife and dragged her around by the hair for awhile. Then he dragged poor old extinct Gug's wife around by the hair. He slapped both families' worth of kids, then sent them out to kill a mastodon. Guess which batch of kids Eric's descended from. | |
| Posted by:badanov |
| #11 Bull. I bet his wife wants to get pregnant, but he doesn't want to be responsible for a family, and also can't bear to admit it. So he contrived a fashionably pious excuse to camouflage his cowardice as high-minded principle. He cried because he realized he's a spineless twat, and can't even be honest about it. Lotsa these types out there. |
| Posted by: RandomJD 2013-09-29 20:40 |
| #10 Eco Lib religion at its core: suicidal and genocidal, hatred of mankind. |
| Posted by: OldSpook 2013-09-29 20:38 |
| #9 Lot of hysteria among the climate change religious sect. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2013-09-29 18:04 |
| #8 Dear Mr. Weatherman: Since CO2 is supposed to be such a concern, stop breathing out. Now. |
| Posted by: Barbara 2013-09-29 17:24 |
| #7 When I read the title, I thought this was about a 70's activist. |
| Posted by: Skidmark 2013-09-29 15:57 |
| #6 Give my regards to the dodo. |
| Posted by: g(r)omgoru 2013-09-29 13:15 |
| #5 if he really wants to lighten the carbon footprint, perhaps cordless bungee jumping would meet the requirements..... just sayin.... |
| Posted by: USN, Ret. 2013-09-29 13:08 |
| #4 Good Riddance, your genes will NOT be missed. |
| Posted by: Redneck Jim 2013-09-29 11:09 |
| #3 what a p*ssy |
| Posted by: Frank G 2013-09-29 10:52 |
| #2 You don't need a weatherman to know which way the smoke blows. |
| Posted by: SteveS 2013-09-29 02:18 |
| #1 I hope ya wife kicks your wussbag ass. Because she probably can... |
| Posted by: tu3031 2013-09-29 00:35 |