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Home Front: Culture Wars
Secret Service Requests Software To Track Social Media Trends, Detect Sarcasm
2014-06-05
WASHINGTON (CBSDC) -- The U.S. Secret Service is seeking software that can identify top influencers and trending sets of social media data, allowing the agency to monitor these streams in real-time - and sift through the sarcasm.

A work order posted online Monday shows that the agency desires analytics software that can watch users in real time, collecting a range of data including "emotions of Internet users to old Twitter messages" across multiple languages.

The Secret Service is also seeking software that can complete very succinct tasks within massive sets of continuously flowing social media data, such as locating users and detecting sarcasm.

"Ability to detect sarcasm and false positives," reads the request.
Kay: No, ma'am. We at the [Secret Service] do not have a sense of humor we're aware of.

As an aside, offer a subcontract to use Rantberg as a beta site. Might pay for operations.
Posted by:Squinty

#25  I've never seen a citation of "COINTELPRO" that wasn't an apologetic for leftist terrorism, written by a raving lunatic, or both.
Posted by: Rob Crawford   2014-06-05 22:38  

#24  Oh dear. I think that distant boom means they overestimated their ability to deal with our input.

NSA Nancy is very upset. They'd got a decorated sheet cake for the celebration and everything.
Posted by: trailing wife   2014-06-05 18:42  

#23  Why don't you just hire me, assholes?
Posted by: tu3031   2014-06-05 18:32  

#22  It would be a terribly useful thing for me -- I'd finally understand why people laugh at the things I say in dead earnest.
Posted by: trailing wife   2014-06-05 18:30  

#21  #19 Are you being Sarcastic Phester? It is Thursday.
:(

Posted by Shipman 2014-06-05 17:52|| 2014-06-05 17:52

Hey, you're blowing my cover!!! ; >
Posted by: Uncle Phester   2014-06-05 18:24  

#20  Outta be good help getting out of those red light districts.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2014-06-05 18:16  

#19  Are you being Sarcastic Phester? It is Thursday.
:(
Posted by: Shipman   2014-06-05 17:52  

#18  #15 You the man Phester but:

COINTELPRO = Koch Brothers + Bohemian Grove

I didn't even look.

Posted by Shipman 2014-06-05 16:24|| 2014-06-05 16:24

Thanks Ship. Didn't make the "tinfoil hat" connection. But, then again, I'm kind of shallow...
Posted by: Uncle Phester   2014-06-05 17:51  

#17  Are you being sarcastic?

I can never tell.
Posted by: bigjim-CA   2014-06-05 17:28  

#16  Me? Sarcasm? Only on days ending in "Y".
Posted by: Old Patriot   2014-06-05 16:27  

#15  You the man Phester but:

COINTELPRO = Koch Brothers + Bohemian Grove

I didn't even look.
Posted by: Shipman   2014-06-05 16:24  

#14  Many years ago I had dinner with a on-duty Secret Service agent, in an ER where he was posted during the time a POTUS was in-town. He had quite a sense of humor - on some things. On other things, not so much.
Posted by: Anguper Hupomosing9418    2014-06-05 13:13  

#13  

5,000 Years of History Shows that Mass Spying Is Always Aimed at Crushing Dissent

"The lesson of COINTELPRO is that any government agency that is able to gather information through political surveillance will be tempted to use that information."

Longish, but worth the read, IMHO.
Posted by: Uncle Phester   2014-06-05 13:05  

#12  If they ever get an Irony Metre we best steel our selves.
Posted by: Shipman   2014-06-05 10:55  

#11  First they came for the sarcasm, but I did not speak out - because I was not being sarcastic, of course not. Not at all.
Posted by: Spusose Darling of the Giants1586   2014-06-05 10:14  

#10  sarcasm? Never heard of it
Posted by: Frank G   2014-06-05 09:18  

#9  Soon, a government decreed sarcasm font. First it will be developed. Next it will be 'recommended'. Finally Senator Schemer will introduce legislation requiring it.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2014-06-05 08:06  

#8  They'll pay some 'connected' software developer millions for that sarcasm detecting program, which will operate by detecting the character string /sarc.
Posted by: Glenmore   2014-06-05 07:52  

#7  Thereby showing that the thing a bureaucrat wants most in the world is to avoid a judgement call.
Posted by: ed in texas   2014-06-05 07:41  

#6  It's operating and 'pegged out' Airandee.
Posted by: Besoeker   2014-06-05 07:14  

#5  Note that comment number 4 was my control record for testing purposes only (just in case your sarcasmeter is not operating today).
Posted by: Airandee   2014-06-05 06:40  

#4  I think this is a great idea! Best idea in decades! 💩
Posted by: Airandee   2014-06-05 06:38  

#3  This effort has been ongoing for over a decade, and yes, at a very predictable location.

Additional grant money is needed however. Times is tough you know.
Posted by: Besoeker   2014-06-05 06:19  

#2  Rantburg is known for Class III sarcasm, AKA dripping sarcasm.
Posted by: badanov   2014-06-05 00:27  

#1  "This can't be right. The alpha test on Rantburg says that it is all sarcasm!"
Posted by: Squinty   2014-06-05 00:17  

00:00