| Submit your comments on this article |
| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Boxers or Briefs? |
| 2014-12-19 |
| The regrettably named Norwegian underwear brand Comfyballs was all set to make its big debut in the U.S. this year when it was shut down by the country's patent and trademark office. A trademark on Comfyballs, USPTO argued, was just too vulgar for Americans to accept. Really? Haven't they watched anything on TV these days? The Independent reports on the tribulations of the company, which was already comforting balls across Australia, New Zealand, Scandinavia, and the U.K. when its trademark application was denied: Buncha sqeemish noodnicks. The Puritans have returned. What next? But American authorities banned it from operating under that name, finding that, "in the context of the applicant's goods... Comfyballs means only one thing - that a man's testicles, or 'balls,' will be comfortable in the applicant's undergarments. So we have to keep enduring the torture. Heaven forbid men should be comfortable. "The mark does not create a double entendre or other idiomatic expression... When used in this way, the word, 'balls' has an offensive meaning." What makes Comfyballs so comfy? According to the company, the fist-sized crotch protrusion you see on the pair above isn't just for looks. Au contraire, it is the pinnacle of testicular technology: I like that phrase. Testicular Technology. Kind alliterative. Package Frontâ„¢ is designed to keep your equipment in place, while being lifted away from the inside of your thighs, preventing unnecessary heating of the balls. Extremely curved panels combined with innovative use of elastic fabric seams lift the user experience to a new level! Citing successful trademarks on brands like "Nice balls," and "I love my balls," Comfyballs founder Anders Selvig told the Independent he'd like to see the USPTO review its decision to pan his application. Until then, Hanes and Fruit of the Loom will have to suffice for owners of insufficiently cushioned scrotums. |
| Posted by:Deacon Blues |
| #7 ^Stolen from Beo. Been waiting. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2014-12-19 11:28 |
| #6 LOL Herr Hare. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2014-12-19 11:27 |
| #5 2 minutes of adjusting is a feature not a bug. |
| Posted by: BrerRabbit 2014-12-19 10:53 |
| #4 Looks like something only a Sitzpinkler could love. Do your business, then two minutes of adjustments would be required to get everything properly arranged. |
| Posted by: KBK 2014-12-19 10:19 |
| #3 The codpiece is back. |
| Posted by: Grunter 2014-12-19 09:45 |
| #2 Ballroom |
| Posted by: Besoeker 2014-12-19 04:35 |
| #1 Schweaty balls? |
| Posted by: Super Hose 2014-12-19 00:25 |