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-Land of the Free
Facts About the AR-15
2015-01-05
Some humor about the AR-15. From Facebook.
Facts About the AR-15

* The inventor of the AR-15 was Satan, though his patent has since expired.

* Scientists have confirmed the deadly effects of an AR-15 by giving it to a chimpanzee who then murdered them.

* Scientists agree that each year the AR-15 will grow more deadly until it kills everyone in the entire world.

* Some believe that Hitler was in fact an AR-15 in a rubber mask.

* In the Garden of Eden, God gave Adam and Eve access to every firearm out there except for the AR-15 which he told them not to touch because it was too evil. But then the NRA, in the guise of a serpent, told Eve that the AR-15 is really fun to shoot. So then Eve took the AR-15 and started shooting all the animals in the garden because she is one awesome chick.

* The part that makes the AR-15 so extra deadly is the handle on top. The AR-15 would be used in less murders if it were more inconvenient to carry.

* It was an AR-15 that told Miley Cyrus to dance like that.

* Bullets that are normally harmless will kill instantly when fired out of the AR-15.

* The reason AR-15s have that prominent handle on them is because the most requested feature for an assault rifle was to be able to carry it like a Hello Kitty lunch box.

* If you find yourself surrounded by AR-15's, know that they will fire automatically if they sense fear.

* The AR-15 is easily concealable and can fit inside a matchbox.

* The AR-15 is the leading cause of global warming from how its bullets shoot holes in the ozone.

* A very small percentage of gun deaths are attributed to the AR-15 because it is very good at disguising itself as other guns to frame them.

* What are the differences between an M16 and an AR-15? Scientists agree that it is something.

* The AR-15 can be rendered harmless by giving it only a 10 round magazine as people always miss with the first ten rounds and an AR-15 takes an hour and a half to reload.

* The AR-15 can shoot through schools.

* In a battle between Aquaman and an AR-15, Aquaman would break down and buy it so people might think he’s more manly.

* There were no shooting deaths until the invention of an AR-15. No one even considered using a gun to shoot another human being until someone saw an AR-15 and said, "I bet I could use this to kill a lot of people."

* There was an assault musket similar to the AR-15 used by the world’s most evil pirates, but it was pronounced "Arrr-15."

* The Assault Weapon ban was needed because it is well known that an AR-15 with both a pistol grip and a flash suppressor would be unstoppable by any modern military.

* In Europe there is no such thing as an AR-15 and thus also no such thing as murders. Instead of being violent, people there just drink wine and smoke cigarettes all day.

* If you are shot by an AR-15, you become one and kill others.

* The AR-15 is responsible for 95% of all deaths each year. The rest of the deaths are from obesity and drone strikes.
Posted by:badanov

#15  I would venture the troops in Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria (?) would prefer to have weapon that would TU a bad guy at 300 clicks instead of 50.
Posted by: Mystic   2015-01-05 22:20  

#14  M-14 is one helluva rifle, in all its iterations.
Posted by: badanov   2015-01-05 21:53  

#13  silentbrick I did do that, but is was a 7.62 M-60 with a sling, them bitches be heavy.
Posted by: Thor Omack8327   2015-01-05 21:05  

#12  Oh I knew about M1 Thumb before it happened. But I didn't truly understand til that bolt slammed forward and smashed my thumb.

JFM, please provide video proof of your awesomeness. The video must include you holding the 52kg M2HB unsupported with a full 105 rnd belt attached, firing said belt while remaining upright and standing with no outside support and managing to keep at least 25% of rounds on target at let's say 100 yards just to be nice and fair.

Posted by: Silentbrick   2015-01-05 19:52  

#11  With iron peepsight, no optics, just 26 clicks of elevation.
Posted by: NoMoreBS   2015-01-05 13:16  

#10  M-14, 7.62mm, 11 3/4 lbs fully loaded.
At 500 yards shot 20 out of 20 in a D (upper torso) from a prone position. There is a reason SpecOps folks have taken to using it for medium range, target dense sniper ops.
Posted by: NoMoreBS   2015-01-05 13:12  

#9  Put your AR-15 in your SUV and you have the Ultimate Killing Machine...
Posted by: tu3031   2015-01-05 12:23  

#8  It's called the 'M1 Thumb' Silent Brick. You were no the first I assure you.
Posted by: Besoeker   2015-01-05 11:48  

#7  They forgot the can opener and the finger nail trimmer.

Personally, any time we are in a conflict in an open environment such as the ME, we really should be using something that can reach out and touch someone at 300+ yards. I qualified the first time on the M-1 and we were expected to pop man sized silhouettes at 300 meters. The M-16 is a freaking pop gun. I hated it when I carried it and thought it was a lousy weapon and a terrible club.
Posted by: Mystic   2015-01-05 11:43  

#6  Funny. Love the pic, gonna stab somebody with that tactical flashlight? Surprised there are no wheels on the bipod.

I heard the triangular forward sight was designed to impale baby seals.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2015-01-05 09:51  

#5  Pussies. Real men fire the Ma Deuce from the hip.
Posted by: JFM   2015-01-05 07:44  

#4  Much as I love my AR-10, I have even more fondness for it's granddaddy, the M-1 Garand. I've never shot a gun that felt more 'right' than the M-1, even if it did try to take my thumb off.

(And no, I'll never stick my thumb in there again. Man, talk about ouchies and swollen thumbs that need a hole poked through the nail to fix.)
Posted by: Silentbrick   2015-01-05 06:25  

#3  Bah, the AR-15 is NOTHING compared to it's big brother, the dreaded and evil AR-10! It's so evil, my wife says the holographic sight on it makes it so easy to shoot "It's cheating. You just put the red cross on the target and boom, it hits."
Posted by: Silentbrick   2015-01-05 06:22  

#2  When Chuck Norris held it it pa'd itself.
Posted by: BrerRabbit   2015-01-05 05:13  

#1  I'm glad we now have all of those myths cleared up. Thanks OP.
Posted by: tipover   2015-01-05 00:54  

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