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India-Pakistan
What if your favourite superheroes were Pakistani?
2015-08-15
Just the first (and funniest) of a half dozen.
[DAWN] Batman

After his wealthy parents are bumped off in a tragic murder outside a cinema in Bloody Karachi and he inherits an empire, the Pak version of Bruce Wayne commits to a life of crime fighting.

Recalling his days of playing cricket when certain batsmen would hit his bowling for enormous sixes, he resolves to put the same fear in the heart of criminals and becomes the Batman, hitting the villains of Pakistain on the face with his massive bat.

As a wealthy businessman, Batman owns several corporations in the country, including K-Electric, and uses the electric supply company to schedule scheduled power outages in areas where he wants to operate in the cover of darkness.

Initially, Paks welcome Batman for his promise to bring change, peace, and prosperity to the nation, and appreciate his activity on the streets. But eventually the citizens grow a little weary of Batman when they notice that he is as nutty, if not nuttier than the villains he is claiming to put away. Upon hearing these concerns Batman scoffs, "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!"

During the Justice League elections, Batman loses to Superman 4-3, after which he begins to throw wild accusations of rigging, "I am the hero Pakistain deserves and needs right now."

When the Justice League members disagree, Batman throws a tantrum and resigns from the organization claiming he will go forever, only to sheepishly return later a few days later. Here, he is enraged to find a pacifier at his table. Finally, a reelection occurs, where Batman embarrassingly suffers an even bigger defeat of 6-1 (clearly losing supporters thanks to his madness). Batman's humiliation is compounded when his partner, Robin is caught trying to rig the election in his favor.

Batman is at further odds with Pakistain when the powerful super villain Darkseid launches terrorist attacks across the country. While the other Justice League members are intent on counterattacking Darkseid, Batman insists on negotiations with the evil ruler, claiming that Pakistain's drone attacks are why 'good' Darkseid became 'bad' Darkseid.

The Justice League is further sickened by Batman when after marrying the ambitious Catwoman, he quietly allows her to campaign for a spot on the team.

Batman primarily fights a widespread gang of villains across Karachi, whose leader having fled the city decades ago, now commands his men in melodramatic tones from London, England. He, of course, is most popularly known as The Joker.
Naturally, the writer left out the most powerful of them all.
Posted by:

#1  Better Urdu Nuggets!
Posted by: Shipman   2015-08-15 03:25  

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