[RT] A man in Russia’s Far East woke up in the morgue after having been declared dead, local media report. "Ohhhh! My head! I really put one on! I feel like I died!"
Before the incident, he had been doing vodka rounds with friends – and after the “miraculous awakening,” he went back to the party.
"Shay! I wuzh jusht here! Wuzhn't I?"
The man who was mistakenly taken for dead passed out after drinking too much, local Khasanskiye Vesti newspaper reported Wednesday.
"Hey, y'all! Hold my vodka and watch what happenzh when I do thish!"
However, it is not clear when exactly the incident took place. Khasanky Region is a coastal area in Russia’s Far East, which is home to some 35,000 people scattered over the territory of 4,100 square kilometers.
It's in Primorsky Krai, and it borders North Korea and China. The primary activities noted in Khasanski Raion are guarding the border and drinking.
His friends called an ambulance
"Hello? Hello? Is this the ambulance?"
"No. This is the driver!"
and medical staff hastily declared the man dead
"Hmmm... What's your opinion, Dr. Quincy?"
"I'd say he was titzup."
before taking him to the morgue, according to the daily.
[Clang!] "Have a nice sleep!"However, the man eventually came back to his senses (somewhat) – only to find himself in a mortuary freezer.
"Whoof! Colder'n a mortuary freezer in here!"
“That night the local morgue was filled to its capacity,
"Shay! Wassha matta wit' youse guys? Dis is da deadest party I've ever been at!"
the bodies were not only on the shelves, but also on the floor of the freezer room, where our ‘dead’ hero was allocated,” Aleksey Stoyev, a police spokesman, told the newspaper.
"Scuzhe me! 'Scuzhe me! Sorry!"
“At some point, the man woke up, failing to understand where he was.
[Hic!] "Any o' youse guys know where we are?... Well, don't ever'body answer at once!"
It was very dark and cold. In addition his brain was foggy due to the influence of alcohol.
"Whoa! M'brain feelzh all foggy! I wonder why?"
In the darkness, he felt someone’s completely cold limbs and in fear rushed to the door. But it was locked.”
"Hey! Unlock th'goddamm door!"He started screaming for help
"Help! Help!... C'mon youse guys! Help me holler!"
and pounding on the door. His calls drew the attention of the morgue’s guard,
"Hmmm... Noise. We don't usually get a lot of noise around here."
who reported the situation to the doctors.
"Y'know, do, this is the noisiest morgue I've ever guarded!"
The latter thought that the guard was imagining things, according to the local report. Nonetheless, out of cautiousness the doctors called police.
"Operator! Gimme the police!"
Opening the door police were met by the ‘resurrected’ man who in panic ran out of the room, according to the department of criminal investigations. Police questioned the man and released him.
"What do you mean, 'you used a dead guy as a battering ram?' The door opens inward!"
Returning to the place of the party, he found his friends were still drinking, but this time commemorating him.
"Poor Whatsisname!"
"Yeah. Poor Whatsisname! Pour me another!"
The person who opened the door was so shocked that he fainted, Khasanskiye Vesti says.
[THUD!] "Is he... dead?"
"I don't think so!"
"Are you?"
"I'm not sure. Gimme a drink."
The commemoration ceremony was quickly revamped into a re-birthday party.
"Happy re-birthday to youse!
Happy re-birthday to youse!
Happy re-birthday dear Whatsisname..."