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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Hollywood film to revisit events on Chappaquiddick in 1969
2016-05-04
  • [DAILYMAIL.CO.UK] Known as the Chappaquiddick Incident after the Massachusetts island where it took place, scandal broke the Kennedy grip on the White House

  • Edward had been driving back from a party when he veered off a bridge

  • Kennedy swam ashore to save himself but left passenger Mary Jo Kopechne to drown - and did not report the incident for nine hours

  • Film will now revisit events in 1969 that appalled millions of Americans

  • Australian-born 'Zero Dark Thirty' star Jason Clarke will play Kennedy in 'Chappaquiddick'
There was never an autopsy of Ms. Kopechne. Ponder that and then ponder the most obvious reason why a Senator would have a car accident while driving with a young woman...
Posted by:Fred

#25  Wait for the movie to come out and somewhere in the world will be an intense anti-American riot. The leading D's of the day will blame the riot on extremely upset Oldsmobile loyalists......
Posted by: USN, Ret.   2016-05-04 21:13  

#24  There once was man from Nantucket
With a dick so small she couldn't suck it
Ted didn't get his blow
So off the bridge went Mary Jo
And all the senator said was Phuck it
Posted by: Airandee   2016-05-04 20:12  

#23  If Kennedy was driving a van bug he might have been president some day. Bugs float.
Posted by: 49 pan   2016-05-04 19:15  

#22  Run Silent, Run Chappaquiddick

(btw good one raj)

(Classer - Dude, Where's My Car?)
Posted by: swksvolFF   2016-05-04 16:03  

#21  :)
National Lamp had the best parody ads.
Posted by: Shipman   2016-05-04 15:57  

#20  Why didn't the family pay for one?

I believe her family received a big chunk of cashy compensation.

As for #8 If he was driving a Volkswagen he would have President.
scroll down
I think I'm having a flashback
Posted by: SteveS   2016-05-04 15:31  

#19  There once was a Senator from Mass
Who craved a strange piece of ass
He lucked out and found it
He screwed up and drown it
And now his future is passed
Posted by: David169   2016-05-04 15:27  

#18  Afraid it would be declared a suicide?
Posted by: swksvolFF   2016-05-04 15:19  

#17  No autopsy?
Why didn't the family pay for one?
Posted by: JHH   2016-05-04 14:01  

#16  Bridge Over the River Poucha

Mary and Ted's Bogus Journey
Posted by: swksvolFF   2016-05-04 13:57  

#15  No, he was just a fat, drunken slob from an entitled family who was confronted with fear and acted like a coward.
Posted by: Capsu78   2016-05-04 13:29  

#14  No autopsy? Ponder the most obvious reason? OK, dunno if we're on the same track but I'll make a guess. I always figured he was just drunk and foolin' around in the Kennedy family tradition and didn't report it until he could sober up but, no autopsy? Was she pregnant?
Posted by: Ebbang Uluque6305   2016-05-04 12:27  

#13  A River Runs Through Her.

(damn ZF, wow x2)
Posted by: swksvolFF   2016-05-04 10:37  

#12  They could tack this on at the beginning for 'context'.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2016-05-04 10:08  

#11  Diving many moon sdown into the reject pile...

Ted Kennedy often regaled 'em,
"That intern was smokin' in Salem!
She stifled a cough...
And about bit it off...
Said she never could stand to inhale 'em."
Posted by: Zenobia Floger6220   2016-05-04 10:02  

#10  Enchanted by visions of Camelot,
Maid Mary Jo yields to her Lancelot.
Their unbridled idyll
Would win her no title,
But Teddy was knighted Sir Swamelot!
Posted by: Zenobia Floger6220   2016-05-04 09:53  

#9  Booze-back Mountin'... Whisky for Horsesasses...
Posted by: regular joe   2016-05-04 08:41  

#8  If he was driving a Volkswagen he would have President.

/Doil, Dang, Beerback
Posted by: Shipman   2016-05-04 08:21  

#7  No autopsy because Miss Kopechne might have had something other than sea water in her mouth (thinking blue dress here)? Yes, that might cause a distraction to driving with the unfortunate result of veering off a bridge.
Posted by: Glenmore   2016-05-04 07:59  

#6  Ice Cube Zero. Blottoheart. In Golden Pond.
Posted by: regular joe   2016-05-04 07:13  

#5  Well I always love a good remake so how about-
Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
The Awful Truth (1937)
The Bad and the Beautiful (1953)
Captains Courageous (1937)
Chicken Run (2000)
Dead of Night (1946)
Don't Look Back (1967)
Every Man for Himself (1980)
Farewell, my Concubine (1993)
Fatal Attraction (1987)
His Girl Friday (1940)
I Know Where I'm Going (1947)
I Want to Live (1958)
I'm All Right Jack (1960)
It Happened One Night (1934)
The Lady Vanishes (1938)
The Long Voyage Home (1940)
The Man Who Wasn't There (2001)
Night Moves (1975)
Of Mice and Men (1940)
On the Waterfront (1954)
The Ruling Class (1972)
Ruthless People (1986)
The Scoundrel (1935)
A Slight Case of Murder (1938)
They Were Expendable (1940)
Unforgiven (1992)
Yellow Submarine (1968)
Zero for Conduct (1933)
Posted by: Classer   2016-05-04 05:56  

#4  “Ted, Admit”?

Oh wait, that’s a song about a different killer named Ted.

How about:

“Dude, Where’s My Car --- Oh Yeah, and That Chick That Was In It?”
Posted by: charger   2016-05-04 01:07  

#3  What title should we give it? Olds Yeller?

Bring your A game, everybody!
Posted by: Raj   2016-05-04 00:42  

#2  How fast will these folks making the film be blacklisted?
Posted by: Raj   2016-05-04 00:33  

#1  Be interesting to see how they pin the blame on Reagan.
Posted by: charger   2016-05-04 00:30  

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