[HAWAIINEWSNOW] Two stranded mariners are safe Friday after crews spotted their “SOS” in the sand on uninhabited island in Micronesia.
Ooh! Ooh! We seen dis movie!
A U.S. Navy aircraft crew spotted the couple on the beach, and relayed their location to the Coast Guard in Guam. The two, who had limited supplies and no emergency equipment, were picked up and transferred to a patrol boat.
Dis guy, he signs on as crew on dis beautiful rich babe's yacht. She's real snooty, and dey don't get along at all. She tells him he's fired as of da time dey get to deir next stop...
The Coast Guard got a report about the couple's 18-foot vessel going missing on Aug. 19.
So den, see, dere's dis big storm, an' da boat goes down, wid all hands but dem, see, da guy rescues her, an' he calls her a dummy an' stuff when she's gonna let go an' drown. An' once da music got real loud an' she let go an' he swims out to get her an' grabs her by da shirt an' swims back to da board dey're holdin' on to wid her shirt collar in his teeth, an' most of her shirt rips off an' you can see her underwear an' stuff, an' den he fights off a shark, an' da board dey're holdin' on to washes up on da beach in da morning...
The two departed Weno Island on Aug. 17, and were expected to arrive at their destination to Tamatam Island the next day.
He builds dem a hut outta palm leafs an' stuff, an' he makes a fish trap wid her brassiere an' she's half nekkid, an' his shirt got ripped off in da fight wid da shark an' you an see his muscles an' stuff, an' dey get attacked by a crocodile an' he kills it wid his bare hands an' dey roast it an' eat it...
Over seven days, the Coast Guard and other agencies searched nearly 17,000 square miles for the two.
An' da babe falls in love wid him, an' dey get it on on da beach, to dis really gooey music wid da waves washin' over dem...
On Wednesday, a ship noticed flashing lights emitting from the uninhabited Chuuk State island where the two were later found. The U.S. Navy was alerted and patrolled the island when they spotted the survivors -- and their message -- on the beach.
So den dey head off to find a preacher, an' da guy turns out to really be some rich guy's only kid an' he's got his own yacht at da island, an' it's twice as big as hers, an' dey sail off into da sunset on deir honeymoon. De End. More gooey music. About a half hour of credits on da screen.