| Submit your comments on this article | |
| -Short Attention Span Theater- | |
| Hippie Spends 6 Months, $11,000 Travelling, Discovers That he is a “cliche C**t” | |
| 2017-05-05 | |
| Via Boris Rozhin [ILOVENZ.ME] 19 year old Jonty Cockburn spent the past 6 months travelling the world, visiting some of the world’s most spiritual places only to realise that he is a boring, hypocritical, “cliché c**t” he said. Cockburn’s expensive round-the-world trip has taken him through countries such as Goa, Mongolia, Peru and Burma but it wasn’t until New Zealand that he found himself. Cockburn spoke about the realisation and how it overcame him whilst he sat round a drum circle at an organic chickpea farm in New Zealand’s Northern Island. What triggered Cockburn, was when he realised that he was with another 8 near-identical looking white, hair tied into a bun, poncho-wearing, bucket-hat sporting, fire-poi spinning, terribly tattooed hippies. What he realised the most was that he has spent most of his life judging others for being “Too mainstream” and “not caring enough about the world.” Cockburn has lost many friends arguing over basic things such as the price of milk and how TV is controlling the population, but now he realises that he can only control his own life and he should mind his own business. Cockburns Facebook profile lists one of his interests as ‘legalisation, hacky-sack [and]… psytrance’, tells has stated that he intends to cut his dreadlocks off, throw away his propagator
Propagator also is a bag of bullsh*t. “I thought I was an individual snowflake, but then I realised that actually, all snow looks the same to the human eye. “ Cockburn goes on to that “I don’t want to sit around anymore talking about how we’re going to change the world with a revolution, only to then consume an entire bag of Cool Original Doritos, watch re-runs of Blackadder, and then fall asleep.” “I want to actually do something worthwhile with my life instead.” Said Cockburn Deep stuff, thanks Jonty. | |
| Posted by:badanov |
| #18 Flying alligator; was on Sci-Fi channel the other night. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2017-05-05 19:41 |
| #17 What is a propagator? Don't they use those in aircraft calibration? |
| Posted by: Skidmark 2017-05-05 18:13 |
| #16 Chemist, cyanide is natural, right? And anthrax. |
| Posted by: Rambler in Virginia 2017-05-05 18:05 |
| #15 The abuse of the word organic is a pet peeve of mine. Drives me crazy when people say the only eat 'organic'. Organic? You mean like DDT? No, I mean like something 'natural'? Natural? You mean like tetrodotoxin? Or perhaps you mean something like crude oil? |
| Posted by: Chemist 2017-05-05 17:36 |
| #14 Organic? You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means... Of course its organic - lots of carbon compounds in there. |
| Posted by: Injun Bucket8891 2017-05-05 16:29 |
| #13 What is a propagator? From Google: prop·a·ga·tor ˈpräpəˌɡādər/ noun noun: propagator; plural noun: propagators 1. a covered, typically heated container filled with earth or compost, used for germinating or raising seedlings. 2. a person who spreads and promotes an idea, theory, etc. |
| Posted by: Seeking cure for ignorance 2017-05-05 15:40 |
| #12 Solicitous, soulless sincerity: Some sensitive simp in the Marigny Just asked his mechanic, "That grease... it's organic?" This century has passed beyond parody. |
| Posted by: Zenobia Floger6220 2017-05-05 13:29 |
| #11 Organic chickpea farm? This is a parody, right? |
| Posted by: Raj 2017-05-05 12:55 |
| #10 I could have saved him $11,000.00 |
| Posted by: Skidmark 2017-05-05 12:47 |
| #9 How to Make a Homemade Propagator Thank you, Unereger Ghibelline3289. So he fancied himself a Johnny Appleseed to the world? How precious. |
| Posted by: trailing wife 2017-05-05 11:09 |
| #8 Me thinks the site is a bit cheeky. |
| Posted by: swksvolFF 2017-05-05 10:50 |
| #7 I was going to suggest he join the Marine Corp (to gain Enlightenment), but - with surname like "Cockburn", I just don't know. |
| Posted by: g(r)omgoru 2017-05-05 10:22 |
| #6 They always said be careful about that whole entire Enlightenment thing as it may not be what you were expecting. How sad when knowledge brings no profit to the wise. |
| Posted by: Cesare 2017-05-05 10:07 |
| #5 How to Make a Homemade Propagator |
| Posted by: Unereger Ghibelline3289 2017-05-05 09:48 |
| #4 The Garbanzo Bean Percussion Paradigm claims another. |
| Posted by: Mullah Richard 2017-05-05 09:48 |
| #3 but now he realises that he can only control his own life and he should mind his own business. Welcome to reality young Cockburn. |
| Posted by: JohnQC 2017-05-05 09:30 |
| #2 Please note: Mexican cartels, Abu Sayef and east European criminal gangs murder free spirits. The hippie just saved his own life. |
| Posted by: badanov 2017-05-05 00:31 |
| #1 Welcome to Earth. Take your number and have a seat. You are nothing special. |
| Posted by: Rex Mundi 2017-05-05 00:06 |