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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Excessive m@sturbation is hurting China's military
2017-08-28
The Chinese military says excessive masturbation and too many video games are among the reasons its physical-test failure rates have reached an "alarming high."

The People’s Liberation Army is now dishing out advice after one city saw more than half its candidates -- 56.9 percent -- fail their physicals, according to the BBC.

PLA found that 8 percent of candidates failed because of abnormalities found in their scrotum from sitting too much. Another 25 percent flunked because of blood and urine tests.

It recommended that candidates follow 10 basic principles, including exercising more, cutting out fizzy drinks and booze, limiting computer games and masturbation, not getting a tattoo and drinking clean water.

The advice was instantly mocked by users on social media microblog Sina Weibo.

"Next year they’ll be asking for circumcisions!" said one user.

The PLA has struggled to recruit new members, despite desperate measures to find candidates like releasing a rap recruitment video last year.

The Ministry of Defense last month announced the PLA would be cut from 2 million to 1 million -- a move that some believe is due to a lack of new recruits.
They probably have better things to do.
Posted by:gorb

#11  I hereby find Rantburg guilty of "Double-Dutch" Cultural Appropriation.

The .gif is from a Gilligan's Island episode about a Japanese soldier who arrived at the island still fighting WWII. Vito Scotti, an Italian-American, played the soldier.

Good times. Good times.
Posted by: Vast Right Wing Conspiracy   2017-08-28 12:28  

#10  You think the kids in the west expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter?

Yes.
Posted by: g(r)omgoru   2017-08-28 12:16  

#9   You think the kids in the west expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter?

Apparently the big thing for the Asian princes in Quincy, MA is to drive around in Maseratis.
Posted by: Raj   2017-08-28 12:09  

#8  They don't have a draft?
Posted by: Abu Uluque   2017-08-28 12:03  

#7  Mr. President, we must not allow a m@sturb@tion gap!
Posted by: General "Buck" Turgidson   2017-08-28 10:53  

#6  Digression:
Well, according to the legendary story they told us at Airborne School at Benning, it's what got Jimi Hendrix (James Marshall Hendickson) out of the 82nd Airborne.
Posted by: ed in texas   2017-08-28 09:42  

#5  Another result from the one child policy is most of them tend to be spoiled little shits. You think the kids in the west expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter? Ain't got nothing on these vaginal turds.
Posted by: DarthVader   2017-08-28 09:04  

#4  When the ratio of boys to girls is so out of wack that most will not find a mate I would think this sort of thing would be expected. Perhaps they need a lot of salt peter in the food.
Posted by: rjschwarz   2017-08-28 08:26  

#3  Prohibiting TATS? Who will be left to conscript ?
Posted by: Besoeker   2017-08-28 08:03  

#2  The Ministry of Defense last month announced the PLA would be cut from 2 million to 1 million

My God, what are all the Generals and Colonels going to do!

[Well, you want to copy the Americans, they've seemed to have figured it out, now that they have more generals per troop than they did in WWII.]
Posted by: Procopius2k   2017-08-28 08:00  

#1  Patient: "Doctor, I'm always tired and have no energy". Doctor: "You've got to stop m@sturbating." Patient: "Why?" Doctor: "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2017-08-28 07:48  

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