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-Lurid Crime Tales-
No bond for man who shot himself in the doinker while robbing hot dog stand
2017-11-04
[CHICAGO.SUNTIMES] A 19-year-old man who shot himself in the penis after allegedly holding up a South Side hotdog stand Tuesday won’t be going home when he’s released from the hospital.
"We got good news and we got bad news..."
Terrion Pouncy remained at Christ Hospital recovering from his injuries on Thursday, missing a bond hearing at the Leighton Criminal Courthouse on two counts of armed robbery.
"The good news is that you ain't dead."
Pouncy was tossed in the slammer
Yez got nuttin' on me, coppers! Nuttin'!
at the Oak Lawn hospital not long after he was found slumped on the steps of a home across the street from a West Pullman restaurant that reliably Democrat Chicago, aka The Windy City or Mobtown
... home of Al Capone, a succession of Daleys, Barak Obama, and Rahm Emmanuel,...
Police say he robbed at gunpoint about 6 a.m. on Halloween.
"My doinker! There's a hole in my doinker!"
Judge Stephanie Miller ordered him held without bond.
"To the dungeon with him!"
[Laughter, applause]

Pouncy was unable to run further because of the pain of a self-inflicted gunshot wound suffered when he tried to adjust the .38-caliber pistol in his waistband as he ran off after robbing Maxwell Street Express at 116th and Halsted, Assistant Cook County State’s Attorney Erin Antonietti said in court.
"Feet, don't fail me now! [BANG!] Aaaiiieee! I am unmanned!"
Pouncy had pulled out the gun and demanded cash from two employees, pressing the gun to the head of a 39-year-old worker, Antonietti said.
"Gimme yer dough!"
The victim, who had been passing a bucket filled with grease over the counter, called for his co-worker to hand over the cash from the register.
"Give 'im the dough, Herbert, or I am undone!"
As they passed their wallets and a stack of singles to Pouncy, the bucket tipped and bills went flying, Antonietti said.
"My bucket of grease!"
"Our money!"
"My money!"

Still pointing the gun at the workers, Pouncy stooped over to collect the cash, Antonietti said. Shifting the gun in his waistband
"Is the safety on when it's up or down?"
as he ran out, he apparently pulled the trigger,
[BANG!]
"Up, not down."

firing a bullet that struck him in the penis, Antonietti said.
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Please don't fall off! Ow. Ow."
One of the restaurant employees, 39, then began wrestling with Pouncy as he tried to run away, before he staggered out into the street.
"I got him in a headlock, Herbert! Call Law Enforcement!"
"Ow. Ow."

Surveillance cameras captured video and audio of the robbery, and showed Pouncy struggling to make it across the the street, stop on a bench, and make his way to the steps of a nearby house before collapsing, Antonietti said.
[THUD!]
Police recovered the wallets Pouncy had allegedly stolen from the two men, as well as the .38 caliber pistol.
"Ooo! That's gotta hurt!"
"Ow."

Pouncy’s blood-stained boxers matched the underwear he had on in the surveillance video, which clearly showed the pattern on the fabric when the teen bent over to collect the money that had fallen to the floor, Antonietti said.
"Terrion! Pull your pants up!"
"It's the style, Mom!"

Posted by:Fred

#4  Pulled a Napoleon and blew his Bonapart,ayy.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2017-11-04 19:19  

#3  Sounds like a case for involuntary SRS.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2017-11-04 08:52  

#2  Terrion "Stubby" Pouncy sounds better.

Maybe Terrion "Little Bit" Pouncy?
Posted by: Mullah Richard   2017-11-04 06:58  

#1  New name: Terrion "Stumpy" Pouncy
Posted by: Frank G   2017-11-04 06:16  

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