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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Louisiana homeowner finds naked intruder in her tub, eating Cheetos
2018-04-20
[NOLA] Police in Louisiana say a woman came home to discover a naked stranger in her tub, eating her Cheetos while taking a bath.
"Mmmm! Junk food! My favorite!"
A Monroe police affidavit says 29-year-old Evelyn Washington was jugged
Maw! They're comin' to get me, Maw!
on burglary and property damage charges.
"Into the paddy wagon wit' yez! And put some clothes on!"
The Fort Worth Star-Telegram reports that a responding officer found "a full tub of water and a plate of food along with half eaten Cheetos belonging to the victim on the toilet next to the tub."
How do you half eat a Cheeto?
Washington told the homeowner and police that an unknown male had told her to break into the house.
"Yeah. Dat's right. It ain't my fault! Somebody told me to break into a house and eat Cheetos while I was takin' a bath!"
Police found a tall ice chest under a broken window.
"Ahah! A clue! Quick, Legume, my French horn!"
Posted by:Fred

#8  Finally, Hillary has a hobby!
Posted by: Woodrow   2018-04-20 14:51  

#7   Wet Cheetos just doesn't make it as a good tasty junk food.

This is why civilized people eat Cheetos on the couch and not in the bathtub.
Posted by: SteveS   2018-04-20 10:48  

#6  "Nola" is the Florida of Louisiana.
Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain   2018-04-20 10:09  

#5  Of course you have to wash up after eating Cheetos, or you could end up looking like Donald Trump's hair.
Posted by: ed in texas   2018-04-20 10:00  

#4  Cheetos can't buy advertising like this!
Posted by: Raj   2018-04-20 09:21  

#3  Wet Cheetos just doesn't make it as a good tasty junk food.
Posted by: JohnQC   2018-04-20 09:11  

#2  property damage charges.

You ever try to get that orange stuff off the grout? That's gonna leave a mark.
Posted by: AlanC   2018-04-20 07:59  

#1  How do you half eat a Cheeto?

Ummm... first ya suck off dat ernge stuff, then ya crunch the object itself? Of course I'm just guessing. Also, I coulda sworn that the term "chee-wee dreads" (or variant spelling thereof) went national back in the '90s? Looks like maybe not.

Posted by: Omolugum Whomoger7285   2018-04-20 07:45  

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