| Submit your comments on this article |
| Home Front: Politix |
| Trump Threatens Government Shutdown If Democrats Don't Explain The Ending Of 'Interstellar' To Him |
| 2018-12-13 |
| SATIRE ALERT [Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.‐Talks between President Trump and Democratic leaders Charles Schumer and Nancy Pelosi took a rocky turn this week. Trump had watched the Christopher Nolan movie Interstellar the previous night, which led to a heated argument in which Trump finally threatened a government shutdown if the Democrats did not give him a satisfactory explanation of the movie’s ending. "And where were the space aliens that were guiding Matthew McConaughey the whole time?" Trump demanded. "It was McConaughey guiding himself the whole time," Schumer explained. "McConaughey was an alien the whole time?" "There were no aliens!" "I’m serious! I will gladly shut this government down if you don’t show me the aliens from Interstellar!" Trump finally threatened. Pelosi tried to explain to Trump that a closed time loop was a common science fiction trope. Pelosi furthermore tried to argue the theme of the movie really was love, but Trump was having none of that and just wanted to know how that tesseract thing was made in the black hole. Occasionally, Vice President Mike Pence would comment that he hadn’t seen the movie and wanted to avoid spoilers, but he was ignored. One particular point of contention was Trump’s assertion that the planet that Matt Damon’s character was rescued from was Mars, as Trump insisted he distinctly remembered that’s where Damon had been stranded. The Democrats were eventually able to convince Trump that he was conflating two different movies. The government still seems headed for a shutdown, though, as no one was able to give Trump a satisfactory answer of why, instead of going into space, people didn’t just farm blight-free food "in a biosphere or something." |
| Posted by:Besoeker |
| #2 Just sayin', but our government could save a lot of money by leaving Matt Damon on Mars the next time this happens. Also, Interstellar was good, but it was better back when it was a song by Queen. |
| Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain 2018-12-13 16:46 |
| #1 Headlines never seen in the Age Defender... George Stevens Fine Husband, Sez Sapphire Attorney is Honored for Attire Rich Harlemite Andy in Shock: Lightnin' Handy! and Burgers Bamboozled by Satire |
| Posted by: Hupagum Mussolini2169 2018-12-13 14:37 |