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-Lurid Crime Tales-
Ninth Circuit Court Rules Border Wall Must Be 'Short Enough That A Pregnant Woman Carrying A Child In Each Arm Could Be Expected To Scale It Without Difficulty'
2018-12-14
[Babylon Bee] SAN FRANCISCO, CA‐Amid heated debate in Washington over President Trump's border wall, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has weighed in, ruling that construction on the U.S.-Mexico border wall can proceed, so long as it is "short enough that a pregnant woman carrying a child in each arm could be expected to scale it without difficulty."

While that definition may seem vague to some, the Ninth Circuit's judges further clarified in their decision that "two or three feet high ought to suffice." Contractors working on the wall have been ordered to have a pregnant woman and several children on hand. Each family will be asked to stress-test climbing over the wall every ten feet to ensure all portions of the barrier are equally easy to scale. Should the sample woman have to exert herself too much, construction workers will have to lower that part of the wall.

"We are in full support of President Trump's right to secure our nation's borders, so long as his actions do not cause undue burden on those trying to get into our country illegally," the court wrote in its decision.

The Court further assured Americans that is decision is in keeping with the Constitution, claiming that they googled "What is the Constitution?" and "Constitutional Law for Dummies" several times during deliberations.
Posted by:Besoeker

#8  What about the handicappedable pregnant w/ 2 kids illegal alien community? We demand wheelchair ramps with child safe guardrails over the fence every 300 feet.
Posted by: Galactic Coordinator Claviter6242   2018-12-14 11:54  

#7  The Babylon Bee is always good for a laugh, even on topics like this. Would that more people could laugh.
Posted by: Tom   2018-12-14 11:42  

#6  To be fair, the stress-testing should be done with a 5th percentile Honduran pregnant women while packing food, children, drugs, water, extra clothing and assistance monies. Not to pre-guess the results but most likely, the wall will have to scrapped and existing structures removed. (sarc)

Posted by: JohnQC   2018-12-14 11:14  

#5  It's the Ninth Circus Court. What else would you expect?
Posted by: gorb   2018-12-14 09:56  

#4  Wait. Is this sarcasm?

/sarc
Posted by: Bobby   2018-12-14 08:58  

#3  Babylon Bee, don't give them any ideas!!!!
Posted by: jvalentour   2018-12-14 08:00  

#2  It's becoming really really hard to come up with humor given the lunacy of the real world beating you to the point.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2018-12-14 06:48  

#1  "two or three feet high ought to suffice."

To tall for dwarfs and midgets! That's racist or something!
Posted by: Woodrow   2018-12-14 06:48  

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