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Home Front: Culture Wars
Gay Man Miraculously Turned Straight By Single Bite Of Chick-Fil-A
2019-05-24
[Babylon Bee] Local gay man Landon Ellison was out protesting a Chick-fil-A in his city Wednesday morning when he got hungry. He looked around to make sure his fellow protestors weren't watching before slipping into the restaurant and ordering a classic chicken sandwich.

"It's probably terrible," he sneered at the cashier, who only smiled and said it was her pleasure to have her place of work insulted. "I'll bet it tastes like HATE!"

But when Ellison's food was served 3 seconds later, something miraculous happened: he took a bite of the sandwich and suddenly found he was no longer attracted to men. The woman who served him the sandwich instantly appeared attractive to him. "How you doin'?" he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. She told him it was her pleasure to be hit on and walked away.

Ellison emerged from the restaurant in a daze, fell to his knees, and lifted his hands and eyes up to the heavens in praise and thanksgiving for the amazing transformation that had occurred in his life.

Sadly, he was turned back by a Whopper.
Posted by:Besoeker

#5  Sadly, he was turned back by a Whopper.

Nice punchline.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2019-05-24 10:36  

#4  LOL. What's next? #WalkAway campaign and Trump supporter?
Posted by: JohnQC   2019-05-24 08:25  

#3  Truly fabulous!
Posted by: Raj   2019-05-24 06:46  

#2  If he tries the sweet tea at chick-fil-a he may run out and buy a gun and join the NRA.
Posted by: Airandee   2019-05-24 05:59  

#1  It's the chicken hormones, right?
(Yeah, I know. There's a chicken soup joke in there, too.)
Posted by: ed in texas   2019-05-24 05:23  

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