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-Short Attention Span Theater-
SS, Florida Edition: Deadbeat Tenant Nails 95 Theses, er Feces, to Landlord's ... Face?
2020-01-09
A Florida woman accused of flinging a bucket of human feces in her landlord’s face claimed she meant to throw a bucket of water but got the two containers mixed up, according to the Miami Herald.

Volusia County sheriff’s deputies responded Saturday to a trailer in Osteen, where they found Joanne Mercader, 59, with caked poop on her face and another woman dripping in human waste, the newspaper reported.

Mercader initially told police that her landlord had tossed a bucket of feces onto her “as a method of eviction,” according to the incident report.

“My landlord just broke into my house and assaulted me,” said Mercader, who tried to explain her appearance by claiming the landlord took the poop and “rubbed it all over [my face].”

But the deputies weren’t fooled, particularly after Mercader admitted that the incident stemmed from an ongoing dispute with the 65-year-old woman.

“In a long time that I’ve been doing this job, I’ve never seen anything like it, OK?” the deputy said, according to bodycam video. “I’m not disputing what you’re telling me but … she’s dripping with it, soaking wet. [Yours] is not.”

Mercader later admitted to accidentally throwing the vile contents at the landlord “as soon as she entered the residence,” according to the report.

“Joanne claimed she intended to use a bucket of water but got the two buckets confused,” the deputy wrote.

The victim told the deputies that she had previously arranged with Mercader to “check on broken items within the residence.”
Posted by:Lex

#6  “Joanne claimed she intended to use a bucket of water but got the two buckets confused"

Shit happens.
Posted by: Lex   2020-01-09 13:32  

#5  Understand, in Florida the only places you are not within walking distance of the "other side of the tracks" is Fisher Island and Jupiter. Anywhere else, we be very diverse and integrated.
Posted by: M. Murcek   2020-01-09 13:31  

#4  I drive to / thru Osteen regularly. Nice place. We are getting a Tractor Supply store a couple miles from my house so I guess I won't get over that way as often...
Posted by: M. Murcek   2020-01-09 13:30  

#3   a trailer in Osteen

Kinda fun imagining Joel's face as he reaches that point in the article.
Posted by: Elmitle Omiter5032   2020-01-09 11:43  

#2  Cause everyone has a bucket of excrement around to mistake for the bucket of water.
Posted by: M. Murcek   2020-01-09 05:52  

#1  SS, Florida Edition
Posted by: Lex   2020-01-09 00:37  

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