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Caucasus/Russia/Central Asia
Russia Says It's Losing Because Ukraine Has Experimental Mutant Troops Created in Secret Biolabs
2022-07-20
Goodness. How exciting.
[Yahoo] Nearly five months into its senseless war against Ukraine, Russia has concocted a wild new explanation for why the Kremlin’s plans for a quick takeover fell apart so spectacularly—because Ukrainian troops were turned into superhuman killing machines during “secret experiments” in American-run biolabs, of course.

Never mind the myriad reports of Russian troops refusing to fight by the thousands, sabotaging their own shoddy equipment and even deliberately wounding themselves to abandon the war, Russian lawmakers claim the real setback for Moscow was “drugged up” Ukrainian soldiers.

That claim was made Monday by two Russian lawmakers heading up a commission to investigate “biolaboratories” in Ukraine, Kommersant reported.

Konstantin Kosachev, the deputy speaker of Russia’s Federation Council, and Irina Yarovaya, deputy chair of the State Duma, touted what they described as bombshell findings from the “investigation.”

Testing of Ukrainian POWs’ blood, they claimed, uncovered “a range of diseases” that suggest they were secretly experimented on “for military purposes.”

“And we see: the cruelty and barbarity with which the military personnel of Ukraine behave, the crimes that they commit against the civilian population, those monstrous crimes that they commit against prisoners of war, confirm that this system for the control and creation of a cruel murder machine was implemented under the management of the United States,” Yarovaya was quoted telling reporters.
Posted by:Penguin of the Desert

#13  Maybe a lame excuse from Russia but it wouldn't be the first time soldiers were given a little extra ooomph in war time.
Posted by: Abu Uluque   2022-07-20 17:14  

#12  Crystal meth: Performance enhancing drug for the German Wehrmacht of WWII
Posted by: Abu Uluque   2022-07-20 17:12  

#11  #4 It's getting a bit embarrassing the kinds of stories the Chekist has you standing up for, isn't it?
Posted by: Nero   2022-07-20 14:44  

#10  Ukrainian troops were turned into superhuman killing machines

That's not the worst part... they're using secret Jewish space lasers!!!
Posted by: Mercutio   2022-07-20 12:44  

#9  No brake fluid but when an enlisted Marine we did have a Navy Corpsman when did a land office business in cuaght syrup extract and a nasty aqua vit made by pouring a bottle of Listerine through a filter made by 1/2 loaf of italian bread. Circa 1970.
Posted by: NoMoreBS   2022-07-20 12:18  

#8  Stop drinking your tanks brake fluid!
Posted by: Silentbrick   2022-07-20 11:48  

#7  Someone been infusing the vodka with hallucinogenics?
Posted by: Rob Crawford   2022-07-20 09:19  

#6  creation of a cruel murder machine

Aah those painful nights spent in a bunk, arms smarting from all the rope climbing, legs destroyed, wishing someone would die at the academy so they'd have to slacken the suck. And the groans all round. I know you remember, fellow murder machines.
Posted by: Dron66046   2022-07-20 05:29  

#5  I seem to recall 1970's East German women Olympians who could wrestle a tank so the Russians could be legit.
Posted by: Classer   2022-07-20 05:23  

#4  Drugs have been used for many years. Why not experiment on your own people. Sounds familiar.
Posted by: Dale   2022-07-20 04:01  

#3  Yes. One foot soldier can take out a tank with a javelin, one foot soldier can take out a Su plane with a stinger, one foot soldier with a cheap drone can direct a HIMARS rocket from 35 miles away into a warehouse full of ammo.

Welcome to the 21st century Russia's WWII ancient military.
Posted by: Black Charlie Slairt1430   2022-07-20 01:27  

#2  Someone thinks Universal Soldier was a real thing?
Posted by: Raj   2022-07-20 00:49  

#1  
Posted by: DarthVader   2022-07-20 00:31  

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