[NYPOST] A prominent Los Angeles Catholic official, who served the community for over four decades, was fatally shot Saturday in a Caliphornia, an impregnable bastion of the Democratic Party, suburb.[BANG!] "Dis is for your position on da Homoöusian Controversy, yer Excellency!"
"Gah! [STAGGER!] That wuz two thousand years ago! [GASP!]... Our side won!"
"Dat's what we wanted youse to t'ink!"
David O’Connell, the Auxiliary Bishop of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, was found inside a Hacienda Heights home with a severe gunshot wound to his upper torso and pronounced dead, according to CBS Los Angeles.
"Hmmm... Seven gunshot wounds to the torso in the shape of a cross... Legume! My saxophone! I must cogitate!"
He was 69 years old.
"I wonder... A sexual symbolism?"
"Y'can't get from 68 to 70 without stopping at 69, Inspector!"
"Not even if you went to Harrisburg for a year?"
"You'd have to be careful. You might come out feelin' 81 after a year!"
Archbishop José H. Gomez released a statement on O’Connell’s death early Saturday morning, saying he had "passed away unexpectedly."
"He wasn't expecting seven rounds of .40 cal."
"He was a peacemaker
"... though not a very good one..."
with a
...now perforated...
heart for the poor and the immigrant, and he had a passion for building a community where the sanctity and dignity of every human life was honored and protected," Gomez said.
That worked well.