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| Entirety Of Congress To Preemptively Resign Over Sexual Improprieties |
| 2017-12-17 |
| Babylon Bee, so it's satire...I think WASHINGTON, D.C. - All 535 members of Congress announced Friday that they would resign from office, effective immediately, over a vast array of sexual improprieties yet to be named. "In light of allegations that may come out about each of us at some point in the future; allegations which we simultaneously deny and deeply, sincerely apologize for; we have decided to resign from our offices at once," members of the Senate and House of Representatives said in a joint statement released to the public. "We hope and trust that any foolish mistakes that might be revealed about us will not tarnish our individual legacies of being champions of women, steadfast defenders of moral values, and people who went to bed at night and woke up in the morning‐wherever we may have been at the time - ;thinking about how we could best serve our constituents." With that, the government officials thanked the public for their support, and announced that they would be taking some time to rest at their lake houses and country clubs and spend some time with their families. At publishing time, salacious and compromising information had been revealed about each member's chosen replacement, causing a total shutdown of the American legislature. |
| Posted by:Frank G |
| #6 Shouldn't tease us like this:P |
| Posted by: Silentbrick 2017-12-17 18:23 |
| #5 And now.. Gene Simmons! Gene Simmons of Kiss faces lawsuit over groping, misconduct allegations Well, duh! |
| Posted by: 3dc 2017-12-17 16:03 |
| #4 We have a revolution in this Country every two years by election. However, this little ditty will help US all make it come to fruition. It would be nice to see new faces in the crusty halls of the House. I'm sure there will be turds that are harder to wipe away but maybe Joe Black can depose the hangers on. |
| Posted by: newc 2017-12-17 15:44 |
| #3 Thanks for linking to the Babylon Bee. They are a treasure--and somehow manage still to write satire in a time when it is increasingly difficult to satirize what is actually happening. |
| Posted by: Tom 2017-12-17 14:51 |
| #2 (rimshot) |
| Posted by: Matt 2017-12-17 11:47 |
| #1 Well, they've all been screwing us for years. |
| Posted by: Abu Uluque 2017-12-17 11:05 |