A zoo keeper was killed this morning in the alligator enclosure of the Naples Zoo, while he was attempting to sexually assault a 12 foot long reptile. YJCMTSU.
According to Captain Perry Henri White, spokesman of the Naples Police Department, 24-year old Jimmy Olsen was engaged in full sexual intercourse with one of the younger reptiles, when he was surprised by one of the larger animals which attacked from behind. "Superman, save me!"
"Sorry, Jimmy. This time you're on your own."
The young man was caught by the throat by the alligator, who dragged him underwater and drowned him. Just doing what any father would do if he saw his daughter getting raped. Grab him by the throat, spin him around in the water a few times, and jam his carcass under a tree or something under the water.
Jimmy Olsen's death took place around 6:00 AM this morning, but his disappearance was noticed only an hour later by other employees. They finally discovered his dismembered body floating in the pool of the alligator enclosure around 8:30. "Where are his . . . pants. Eww."
"The images captured by the security cameras show that Mr Olsen had clearly placed himself in a very vulnerable position," Captain White told reporters. "He had his pants around his knees and was lying down on top of one the animals, with his back to the others. The poor guy didn't stand a chance! We can see him being dragged in the water, then he disappears from sight. He was probably dead within thirty seconds of the attack." Somehow, I don't think that's going to make Jimmy's parents feel much better.
Jimmy Olsen had been working with the reptiles at Naples Zoo for the last two years, and was considered a reptile specialist. He was killed, by a 24-foot long male alligator named Brutus while he was engaged in sexual intercourse with one of the smaller specimens.
Although Mr. Olsen is the first zoo worker to die while having sexual intercourse with an animal, he is not the first one to be implicated in an incident implicating bestiality. Sorry, Jimmy. Looks like you'll have to with just the Darwin Award. Although you might get honorable mention considering it was an alligator, after all.
In 2002, three employees of the Columbus zoo were condemned, after it was revealed that the zookeepers allowed people into the zoo after business hours for the purpose of copulation with the animals. They had quite the brisk business going. Until the IRS came in and shut them down for not paying their taxes.
A comely young 'gator named Brock,
Did cause young Jimmy to gawk.
He found himself smitten,
But by Dad he was bitten,
And then stuffed under a rock.
#4
Well, I was skeptical at first, but since all Barbara Johnson's other work looks solid...
considered a reptile specialist
Sez Doc, as he scissors the gizzard,
"Wee Jimmie was always a wizard --
Though I thought the oral
A tittle immoral --
At sticking his dick in a lizard!"
1. Assassination of Julius Caesar, 44 B.C.
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3. Samoan Cyclone, 1889
A cyclone wrecks six warships--three U.S., three German--in the harbor at Apia, Samoa, leaving more than 200 sailors dead. (On the other hand, the ships represented each nation’s show of force in a competition to see who would annex the Samoan islands; the disaster averted a likely war.)
4. Czar Nicholas II Abdicates His Throne, 1917
Czar Nicholas II of Russia signs his abdication papers, ending a 304-year-old royal dynasty and ushering in Bolshevik rule. He and his family are taken captive and, in July 1918, executed before a firing squad.
5. Germany Occupies Czechoslovakia, 1939
Just six months after Czechoslovak leaders ceded the Sudetenland, Nazi troops seize the provinces of Bohemia and Moravia, effectively wiping Czechoslovakia off the map.
6. A Deadly Blizzard on the Great Plains, 1941
A Saturday-night blizzard strikes the northern Great Plains, leaving at least 60 people dead in North Dakota and Minnesota and six more in Manitoba and Saskatchewan. A light evening snow did not deter people from going out--"after all, Saturday night was the time for socializing," Diane Boit of Hendrum, Minnesota, would recall--but "suddenly the wind switched, and a rumbling sound could be heard as 60 mile-an-hour winds swept down out of the north."
7. World Record Rainfall, 1952
Rain falls on the Indian Ocean island of La RĂŠunion--and keeps falling, hard enough to register the world’s most voluminous 24-hour rainfall: 73.62 inches.
8. CBS Cancels the "Ed Sullivan Show," 1971
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9. Disappearing Ozone Layer, 1988
NASA reports that the ozone layer over the Northern Hemisphere has been depleted three times faster than predicted.
10. A New Global Health Scare, 2003
After accumulating reports of a mysterious respiratory disease afflicting patients and healthcare workers in China, Vietnam, Hong Kong, Singapore and Canada, the World Health Organization issues a heightened global health alert. The disease will soon become famous under the acronym SARS (for Sudden Acute Respiratory Syndrome).
Posted by: Vast Right Wing Conspiracy ||
03/15/2016 00:00 ||
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[Khaama (Afghanistan)] The social media has been rife with footage of an alleged brawl between the security guards of a politician and coppers in Kabul ...the capital of Afghanistan. Home to continuous fighting from 1992 to 1996 between the forces of would-be strongman and Pak ISI/Jamaat-e-Islami sock puppet Gulbuddin Hekmayar and the Northern Alliance, a period which won Hek the title Most Evil Man in the World and didn't do much for the reputations of the Northern Alliance guys either.... city amid reports that a pregnant woman lost her life due to road blockage as a result of the fight.
The footage and pictures of a policeman brutally beaten by the security guards of a high level official emerged earlier on Sunday, causing uproar among the residents of the city.
However, it's easy to be generous with someone else's money... the furor among Kabul residents further intensified after reports emerged that woman lost her life on the way to hospital as the roads were blocked due to the alleged brawl.
According to reports, the brawl erupted after coppers stopped the vehicle of MP Samiullah Samim in key part of the Kabul city during a search operation.
Kabul city residents strongly condemned the brutal act of the bodyguards of the MP, saying a single police officer was beaten badly by almost ten security guards.
They also expressed their frustration due to the brutal act of the bodyguards of MP, saying the politicians elected to serve the nation and not to misuse the power given to them as a result of the votes of the people.
However, it's easy to be generous with someone else's money... Mr. Samim rejected the brutal beating of the policeman by his bodyguards and claimed that the coppers opened fire on his vehicle after the search operation which lasted for almost one minute.
Posted by: Fred ||
03/15/2016 00:00 ||
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A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
A zoo keeper was killed this morning in the alligator enclosure of the Naples Zoo, while he was attempting to sexually assault a 12 foot long reptile.
1. Assassination of Julius Caesar, 44 B.C.
Research has yet to determine if Senator Cruz denounced himself for causing this incident.
