Article

2016-10-26 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Parrot reveals husband's affair with housemaid to wife by repeating smu++y chats

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Posted by gorb 2016-10-26 01:06|| || Front Page|| [8 views ] Top

#1 ...Betting this was a Norwegian Blue. They tend to be very chatty birds.

And lovely plumage.

Mike

Posted by Mike Kozlowski 2016-10-26 05:51|| 2016-10-26 05:51|| Front Page Top

#2 Yes, but the Koran requires a woman to have as witness a flock of seagulls.

Posted by swksvolFF 2016-10-26 09:13|| 2016-10-26 09:13|| Front Page Top

#3 1. A man always wanted a parrot and one day while walking buy a pet shop he sees one for sale... cheap.
So he goes in and buys it. The man takes it home and the parrot starts to cuss really bad. The man calles the pet store back and the shop keeps says "You get what you pay for".

So the man has this parrot sitting there and it is cussing up a storm. The man starts to yell at it and the parrot starts to cuss at the man and tell the man to leave it alone.
Finally the man in frustration gets up, takes the parrot and throws it into the freezer.
After a few minutes the parrot starts to bang on the door and pleads with the mad to let it out.
So the man feels sorry for the bird and takes it out of the freezer.

The parrot flys onto the man's sholder and apologizes up and down and makes the man promise him that he will never put it back into the freezer again. He tells the man he will not cuss anymore and the man is very suprised indeed.

After placing the parrot back in its cage, the parrot looks at the man and says "By the way, I just gotta ask you. What did the chicken do?"

_____________________________
2. One day a man went to an auction.
While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the fine bird was finally his!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry", said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

Posted by JohnQC 2016-10-26 09:31|| 2016-10-26 09:31|| Front Page Top

#4 @#1: Thanks! Had almost forgot how funny that sketch was.

Posted by Vast Right Wing Conspiracy 2016-10-26 10:22|| 2016-10-26 10:22|| Front Page Top

#5 This is one that Bobby Bowden told to great effect on the chicken circuit, it requires perfect timing.

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, ''Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was furious and continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!" it said.

"Yes?"

"You know."

Posted by Shipman 2016-10-26 15:42|| 2016-10-26 15:42|| Front Page Top

#6 My brother used to have a parrot called Horton that was the most amazing mimic. It would copy everything it heard. Even a choral group that practiced in the house.

One day it flew off, he put up fliers around Berkley where he lived.

LOST GREEN PARROT CALLED HORTON

A couple of days later someone called, saying they had found a parrot, which when asked 'What's your name', replied 'Horton'.

Posted by phil_b 2016-10-26 18:56|| 2016-10-26 18:56|| Front Page Top

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