Article

2013-07-01 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Johnny Depp "Lone Ranger": Early Bad Reviews Signal Disney Disaster

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Posted by Fred 2013-07-01 12:34|| || Front Page|| [2 views ] Top

#1 Where is the congressional investigation and agitaters' hand waving about a Native American being played by an effeminate white male? Paula Deen was just demolished for something like this, and here Depp is acting the fool in ~~red~~blackface. Where is that discussion? Otherwise, shuddup about the ball teams.

Posted by swksvolFF 2013-07-01 13:33|| 2013-07-01 13:33|| Front Page Top

#2 "He don't look Potawatomi."

Posted by Fred 2013-07-01 14:01|| 2013-07-01 14:01|| Front Page Top

#3 Saw Depp in an inteview on the Letterman show (first time I glanced at it in ages -- won't make that mistake again) and the ensuing, seemingly endless, vitual sob fest for the white man's (us, again) treatment of the noble red folks was something to behold. Depp later followed the lecture on caucasian evil with much pedestal-putting of Indun (don't dare call them Indian, cuz Columbus was lost -- a factoid also included in the lecture series) culcha. About halfway through this cluster farg, I turned to The Wife (mostly a liberal) and asked, "What IS this?" A shrug and "I don't know" was her response.

Did not bode well for the flick.

Posted by Dopey Sinatra9196 2013-07-01 14:23|| 2013-07-01 14:23|| Front Page Top

#4 Yep, skip over the Aztec blood sport.
Skip over the early records of encounters where the Euros join one tribe's traditional territorial raiding of another. Marauding and looting existed in Pre-Columbian America. They just carried it out with lower level tech.
Skip over little facts, like why the Crow wanted to be scouts for the US Army [something about the enemy of my blood enemy is my friend].

Posted by Procopius2k 2013-07-01 14:39|| 2013-07-01 14:39|| Front Page Top

#5 Also skip over how the Lipan Apache and the Tonkawa in Texas readily allied themselves with Texas rangers and volunteers to fight against their traditional enemy, the Comanche.

You know, if I were on the ground floor of a Lone Ranger reboot, I'd throw out all the traditional post-Civil War detail and convention from the TV series and previous movies ... and move it back to pre-Civil War Texas. A young ranger survivor and his Lipan Apache scout friend, wandering around on the fringes of the frontier doing good. I'd even ditch the mask - not to mention that stupid bird squatting on Depp's head. In the years before photography became widely available, you could wander around and five miles from where you lived and worked, no one would know the hell who you were. Back to the basic adventure, just two guys traveling around, doing the bit of good and rescuing people from bad guys ... I could so make that version rock!
(And I just had an idea for a pair of walk-on characters for the next book...)

Posted by Sgt. Mom 2013-07-01 14:57|| http://www.celiahayes.com 2013-07-01 14:57|| Front Page Top

#6 Good idea. Make Tonto a Tonkawa. Nobody ever writes westerns that have Tonkawas in them.

Potawatomis lived up north. As far as I know they didn't have chicken hats.

Maybe you could have a few Coahuiltecans walk on, Sgt. Mom? Maybe in the midst of the Second Harvest?

Posted by Fred 2013-07-01 15:11|| 2013-07-01 15:11|| Front Page Top

#7 Sgt. Mom -- that would be taking American culture seriously. That's not allowed anymore.

I swear, if they made a "Fibber McGee and Molly" movie, there'd be a scene where they shoot heroin before calling Wallace Wimpel and his wife over for a foursome.

Posted by Rob Crawford 2013-07-01 15:48|| 2013-07-01 15:48|| Front Page Top

#8 Also skip over: roughly 15-20 thousand years of unceasing inter-tribal warfare and lack of any technology beyond the late stone age.

Posted by Muggsey Mussolini 2013-07-01 16:52|| 2013-07-01 16:52|| Front Page Top

#9 Muggsey, 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus
Of course this has nothing to do with how Hollywood and actors view history.

Posted by 3dc 2013-07-01 19:07|| 2013-07-01 19:07|| Front Page Top

#10 AFAIK its not in theater yet, at least here in Guam.

I loved the TV Westerns as a kid back in the late 1960's - mid 1970's - I'll be pissed iff the remake + Helen Bonham Carter is lousy.

Posted by JosephMendiola 2013-07-01 19:49|| 2013-07-01 19:49|| Front Page Top

#11 You'll be pissed. I can tell that from the chicken hat.

Posted by Fred 2013-07-01 20:18|| 2013-07-01 20:18|| Front Page Top

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