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2023-11-02 -Lurid Crime Tales-
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DC mayor hands out AirTags so residents can find cars after they are stolen
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 [PM] On Wednesday, Washington, DC mayor Muriel Bowser announced that residents in certain areas of the city will be eligible to receive free "digital tracking tags" in an attempt to address rampant auto theft.
And for those ladies who've been raped, Morning After pills.
The Apple AirTags will become another tool in the Metropolitan Police Department's arsenal, allegedly allowing officers to trace and recover stolen vehicles.
For those gents who've been murdered, a nice assortment of laying out suits...
"Last week, we introduced legislation to address recent crime trends; this week, we are equipping residents with technology that will allow MPD to address these crimes, recover vehicles, and hold people accountable," Bowser said.
I love D.C. It's the next best thing to Nigeria for entertainment value.
"We have had success with similar programs where we make it easier for the community and MPD to work together — from our Private Security Camera Incentive Program to the wheel lock distribution program — and we will continue to use all the tools we have, and add new tools, to keep our city safe."
True story: One of my sons managed to get my wife's car impounded several thousand years ago, during one of the Barry administrations -- I think it was the post-penitentiary one.
Residents of Police Service Areas 106, 501, 502, 603, 605, and 606 can pick up their free AirTags at distribution events scheduled for November 7, 8, and 9.
I drove him to the impound lot, where we waited with a dozen or so unsavory characters to pay the car's ransom.
The program was praised by Acting Chief of Police Pamela Smith, who said the goal was "not just to prevent carjackings and motor vehicle thefts, but also to ensure swift law enforcement action when these incidents occur."
As we were strolling merrily (but broke) to pick up the car, one car broke out in flames. If I remember correctly, and keep in mind this was many years ago, I think somebody was using a cutting torch on it or around it.
"These tracking devices allow our officers and detectives to be better positioned to quickly locate stolen vehicles, recover property, and gather vital evidence for investigations," she added.
Anyway, I can recall the guy taking to his heels and the car burst into flames when the gas tank went up. Then the ones on either side of it went up. Then the ones on either side of them, until the entire row of a couple dozen cars had been consumed. My wife's car was a couple rows removed, so we could all discuss it with admiration for Nigerian D.C.city service.
This is not the first tool the city has equipped residents with to combat carjackings. It comes on the heels of a wheel-lock distribution program, a partnership with Hyundai to upgrade over 1,100 vehicles with new anti-theft software, and a dash cam distribution program for local rideshare and delivery drivers.
The very same son later married a lovely girl who owned a condo in Northeast D.C. which was in a nice neighborhood. She came out to go to work one morning and found the front of her car drenched with blood. Somebody had been shot at the convenience store on the corner and bled out on it. D.C. police don't clean up after themselves. Also a true story.
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Posted by Frank G 2023-11-02 00:00||
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File under: Mob Rule
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Posted by Seeking Cure For Ignorance 2023-11-02 00:54||
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Posted by USN, Ret. 2023-11-02 07:34||
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Posted by Besoeker 2023-11-02 08:23||
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Posted by SteveS 2023-11-02 09:15||
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Posted by Rambler in Virginia 2023-11-02 11:28||
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Posted by trailing wife 2023-11-02 12:50||
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Posted by swksvolFF 2023-11-02 14:33||
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Posted by Anomalous Sources 2023-11-02 19:05||
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