Hungarians Get Horny While Singapore Sleeps
As long as we're being silly today...
Forget Latin lovers — horny Hungarians are now the most active between the sheets, leading a charge of eastern Europeans in the global sex charts. ondom maker Durex's annual global sex survey published on Tuesday showed that Hungarian lovers enjoy sex 152 times a year.
"Lazlo! The Commies are gone! Let's get nekkid!"
"They've been gone for ten years, Huszär!"
"What if they come back?"
"Here, help me with my underwear..."
The French -- fiercely proud of their sexual prowess — only manage 144 performances a year. The Italians and Spanish lag even further with scores of 119 and 123 times a year, while Americans make love an average of 118 times a year, Germans 120 and Australians 125. "Bedtime in Budapest is the most passionate of all," Durex said in its survey.
"Yip-yip-yip yeee-haw!"
"Ooooh! Lazlo!"
"Ooooh! Huszár!
Eastern Europe performed well, with Bulgaria, Russia, Serbia and Montenegro all showing above average annual ratings.
"Ooooh! Svetlana!"
"Ooooh! Igor!"
But if you want sex in Sweden or Singapore, you may be disappointed. Swedes chalk up a below-average score of 102 times a year, while Singaporeans only manage 96.
"Ja, sure! I t'ink I'm horny now, Helga!"
The survey of more than 150,000 people found lovers across the globe are having sex an average of 127 times a year and 73 percent of people say they are happy with their sex lives.
"Was it good for you, too, dear?"
The most sexually satisfied couples are in Thailand with 92 percent, Vietnam with 90 percent, China and Spain with 83 percent, and Iceland with 80 percent.
That's why whenever you see pictures of Thais they've got smiles on their faces...
Russians were the least happy with their lot. Only 59 percent said they were satisfied, despite having sex an average of 150 times a year.
"Igor! Dammit!"
"Sorry, Svetlana. Here, let me mop that up..."
One-night stands proved relatively popular across the world with 45 percent of people admitting to having had one. But Nordic nights were the most adventurous — 71 percent of Icelanders, 70 percent of Norwegians and 68 percent of Finns have had sex with someone they had just met, compared with only 37 percent of Germans and 24 percent of Indians.
"Have we met?"
"I don't think so."
"Let's have sex."
Keeping up with the times, Americans are at the forefront of the techno trend for virtual reality sex with 54 percent saying they have had sex via phone, e-mail or text message. The French scoffed at such modern nonsense — only 20 percent of them saying they could see the point of it.
Gotta agree with Jean-Pierre on that one...

Posted by: Fred Pruitt 2003-09-23