Russian circus trainer saves elephants with vodka
[Click Orlando] Two elephants that were forced out of a trailer and into the frigid Russian winter were saved by vodka, their trainers claim.
So this elephant walks into a barroom and sez "Gimme a gallon of vodka!"
The bartender slams it down and sez "That'll be 220 rubles!"
The elephant pays up and slams it down.
The bartender leans his elbows on the bar and sez "Y'know, we don't get many elephants in here..."
And the elephant sez: "And you ain't gonna get many more at 220 rubles a gallon!"

The circus animals were evacuated from their trailer when it caught fire and had to wait outside for a truck that could take them to an emergency shelter -- in this case, a community college's gym.
"Jumbo! What're y'doin' to our circus trailer!"
"I'm breakin' down this wall! [CRUNCH!] Gimme a trunk, will ya?"
"But where're ya goin'?"
"Out for a drink!"
"Wait a minute! Lemme get my Dumbo hat!"

To keep the animals warm, trainer Leonid Labo gave them each 2.6 gallons of vodka mixed with warm water, which the local zoo's director credited with keeping the animals from getting frostbite, according to the AP. A veterinarian said the elephants only had frostbite on the tips of their ears.
"How cold was it, Johnny?"
"Cold enough to frostbite a liquored-up elephant's arse ears!"

Posted by: Fred 2012-12-15