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| Iraq |
| Human |
| 2003-02-24 |
| Seventeen Can't have shields without a picture of Sammy! "We will try everything to get peace instead of war and to protect civil societies," said Ingrid Ternert, a Swedish member of the group. That's really heavy, man. The "Please don't kill me!" Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld said Wednesday that any Iraqi officials who help in the deployment of the human "It's a war crime to misuse lower life forms like this!" Asked about Rumsfeld's remarks, Ternert, a high school teacher, said: "He doesn't know that this is protecting the society." I agree, society is already better with these fools out of the country. "We do this because we are very angry," said Ignacio Cano, a bearded Spanish university professor. "Our governments, especially in those countries like mine - Spain, Italy and Turkey - are supporting the war even though the population are overwhelmingly against the war." Teachers, professors, no wonder the kids aren't learning. Nearby, a woman sat on her bed covering her face with a sweater to prevent television crews from filming her. What's wrong, don't you want everyone to know just how brave you are? Some of the human Don't you just admire a man who stands up for his beliefs? |
| Posted by:Steve White |
| #8 I keep thinking about what Raed said recently in his weblog posting about how much these human shields (read: parasites)are provided for in just meals. This phony propaganda ploy ought to get out in the mainstream press, but of course they won't bring it up. "Oh, the humanity!" should be changed to "Oh, the hypocracy!" |
| Posted by: Alaska Paul 2003-02-24 13:02:17 |
| #7 Secret plan uncovered by Silflay Hraka: S.H.I.E.L.D.* Mr. President, I am pleased to report that the human shield deployment is nearly complete. As estimated in my memo of 1st January, fully one-third of the shields deployed are either our assets, or those of the CIA, MI5, or Mossad. All are experts in sabotage, improvised munitions, and assassination. The remaining two-thirds are, as Sec. Rumsfeld described, "doubly useful idiots," in that they provide valuable cover for our covert operatives. As expected, the Iraqi government has deployed the shields to cover the targets Saddam considers the most critical to the survival of his regime. Collection of intelligence is ongoing, and is expected to continue through the outbreak of hostilities, but we have already confirmed the existence of several WMD caches either previously unknown to us, or whose locations were only roughly known. Bombing coordinates for these targets have been variously pinpointed through the use of concealed GPS devices, triangulation of cell and satellite phone calls, and in one instance, a classroom laser pointer. In most cases our assets have been deployed as part of a larger group of shields, but the luck of the draw has created several groups containing none of our agents. Intelligence gathered from these shields is therefore more sketchy, and information other than location is gathered primarily through analysis of their cell phone conversations. Nevertheless, we have confirmed the location of one underground bunker within Baghdad proper, as well as an al-Samoud missile factory. Cell-phone usage has also allowed us to locate all remaining shield group positions. We have scheduled U-2 and reconnaissance satellite overflights for these areas, and have a high degree of confidence that our analysts will be able to classify them before the campaign commences. Agent O'Keefe is to be commended for the creation and implementation of the plan, and is expected to provide invaluable service once we begin to focus on the Iranian and Korean fronts. Col. Nicholas Fury Undersecretary of Operations NSC 23rd February, 2003 *Strategic Human Intelligence, Enabled by Loony Dupes |
| Posted by: Steve 2003-02-24 12:33:56 |
| #6 "but said others would rotate in to protect the infrastructure installation, which wasn't bombed during the 1991 Gulf War." In other words, they are going somewhere that probably won't be bombed anyway. They put the dupes here, to keep them safe and warm. All the others (CIA, etc.) probably went to the important sites to set up their explosives, as planned. heh heh. |
| Posted by: becky 2003-02-24 11:14:18 |
| #5 Save them? Fuck 'em. They are there by their own choice. They get killed, it's under the heading of "evolution in action" as far as I'm concerned. And if the Iraquis string 'em up, tough shit. |
| Posted by: mojo 2003-02-24 11:13:51 |
| #4 I wonder if at some point we may have to save these guys from being strung-up by pissed-off Iraqis who will see them as allies of Saddam. If they're smart, the shields will stick to the Sunni parts of Iraq. |
| Posted by: Patrick Phillips 2003-02-24 10:55:42 |
| #3 Way to go professor! Take a stand and get out of the way before the s**t starts flying! Now you can go home and tell your war stories, even though was no war while you were there. I'm sure that'll impress all the ladies. |
| Posted by: tu3031 2003-02-24 08:06:48 |
| #2 "He doesn't know that this is protecting the society." Would not she have been more accurate to have said"protecting the status quo". "the United States would be to blame if anyone is hurt" Let me see if I understand this statement,if I stand in the way of a pissed-off,chargeing Rhino and get sashed into jelly it is the Rhino's fault. Is it me or does anybody else see something wrong with this logic? |
| Posted by: raptor 2003-02-24 06:34:14 |
| #1 From scrappleface.com Blix Orders Iraq to Destroy Human Shields (2003-02-24) Chief U.N. weapons inspector Hans Blix has ordered the Republic of Iraq to destroy dozens of so-called 'human shields' recently discovered by his inspections team. In a letter to the U.N. Security Council, Mr. Blix said the human shields are "a hindrance, however slight, to compelling Iraq to disarm. They protect Saddam." The shields may also contain chemical and biological agents which could prove harmful to Iraqi citizens. "We've found some of the human shields contain controlled substances," the letter states, "and others spew a kind of bilious vitriol that can cause adverse reactions among those nearby." A terse response from the government of Iraq said: "We have a right to defend our sovereignty. The human shields pose no threat to our neighbors in the region." |
| Posted by: ROFL 2003-02-24 18:58:04 |