From AP – Edited for length
Baghdad's self-proclaimed rulers said Wednesday they will use Iraqi government funds to pay all state employees their salaries this month — with a 1,000-percent raise — and took credit for progress in getting power, water and hospitals back up and running. They also claimed the U.S. Army recognizes their authority, meets with them daily and even drove them from Kuwait to Baghdad in American military vehicles. The United States said it doesn't even know who they are.
| Uhhh... Have we been introduced? |
Jay Garner, a retired U.S. general, is charged with restoring services in Iraq while an interim government is formed. But Mohammed Mohsen al-Zubaidi, a former Iraqi exile, seemed to be getting ahead of those plans, consolidating his claim to Baghdad's governorship — and over the entire country, taking funds from national government coffers for his own embryonic administration. At a town hall-style meeting Wednesday, al-Zubaidi promised government employees they would be paid on April 30, and that their salaries would be increased tenfold. He said the funds would come from a Finance Ministry account at the Iraqi National Bank. "We are working as a team with the Americans. We have a meeting with them every day," he said. He said his team met with U.S. Army civil affairs officers as well as military commanders, and the meetings were held without news media present at U.S. insistence.
"Open the hole, Mahmoud. It's time for today's meeting with the Merkins."
"Hokay, boss."
"You guys come come out of there right now! We ain't foolin' around out here!"
"Yes, yes, effendi! We're only trying to help. We won't be long!"
"You comin' out?"
"Not yet!"
"You guys are gonna be in big trouble! We're warnin' you!"
"Thank you for meeting with us today, effendi!" |
The U.S. government has consistently denied having any dealings with al-Zubaidi or his administration. Barbara Bodine, the U.S. coordinator for central Iraq, said Monday: "We don't really know much about him except that he's declared himself mayor. We don't recognize him."
| "He just blew in from Iran and set up shop!" |
Brig. Gen. Vincent Brooks, deputy operations director for the U.S. Central Command in Qatar, said last week that al-Zubaidi was "an emerging leader and deserves some attention." But he said "until full processes are in place ... that is not a recognized mayor of Baghdad." But whether real or imagined, al-Zubaidi's ties to Iraq's de-facto U.S. rulers appears to be serving him well. Al-Zubaidi acted as if he was Iraq's ruler, appealing for law and order and promising to solve problems. He bragged about the electricity, water and hospitals slowly coming back online, although it was unclear what, if anything, he had to do with the progress.
| "I had much to do with it, very much! I have been encouraging it every day!" |
"I know you are suffering. I am one of you," he said. "You have been patient under a dictatorship for 35 years. Express yourselves! Be active! Love one another!"
But in an indication of how difficult his job will be — if he manages to hold onto it — people gathered in the auditorium showed little unity.
"All of us are suffering!" one man yelled.
"We need everything - flour, electricity, gasoline!" screamed another.
One woman in a black chador stood and appealed to al-Zubaidi to help her with a different problem: "My TV is broken!" she called. "You are talking about sewage, water and electricity, but who will fix my television?"
I swear that last line isn’t mine – I kinda wish it was!
| "Madame, your TV ain't busted. The electricity's off!" |
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