#4 Well that clears everything up for me. Islam, the Religion of Guess My Mood™ is remarkably flexible, though it is the precise and exact Word of God™. Last month, the Grand Doodah was very much in favor of wiping all infidels off the face of the Earth, as he had stated more than once since 9/11. Today, it's a "great sin" because, uh, cuz, um, we say so. Yeah, that's the ticket. Only we Spiritual Leaders can declare jihad - which now means "holy war"... Yeah, last month our overpaid sniveling apologists spokesmen were telling you it meant "to struggle" and was about a True Believer's internal "battles" against temptation - not holy war against infidels. Nope. No way - we're the Religion of Peace™. You were wrong. Then. Now it means Holy War. But you can only do the Holy War Jihadi-stuff when we say it's okay. When we Spiritual Leaders™ issue you a fatwa. No fatwa, no jihad - got it? So, that settles that little misunderstanding. Sorry for the inconvenience it may have caused. Everyone killed by Jihadis who mistakenly believed they were engaged in Holy War are now, uh, er, um, dead. No, wait, they're in Paradise™. Yeah, that's it, Paradise™. So it's okay, got it? No reason to be mad or upset or anything. We were prolly just misquoted by your infidel press cuz the Qu'uran is the exact Word of God™. Yep. One little misquote and Poof! Big Mess™. But it's all fixed, now. They all got raisins virgins, too. Yep. See? Here's the fatwa that sez so. Oops, the ink's smearing. Still wet. Bizzy, bizzy. Okay. All clear now, right? K. Nothing to see here. Move along. Move along. |