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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| McRage: Would you like mayonnaise with that burger? |
| 2003-12-05 |
| EFMSG A woman who ran down a McDonald’s restaurant manager after she didn’t get mayonnaise on her cheeseburger was sentenced to 10 years in prison Thursday for aggravated assault. Now, in prison, she will enjoy limitless mayonnaise. Waynetta Nolan, 37, has said she didn’t mean to run over Sherry Jenkins, who was dragged across the burger chain’s parking lot during the incident and broke her pelvis. ‘The next thing I noticed was mayonnaise all over my windshield and hood. I couldn’t see a thing. Nope. Nothing, Had, nooooo idea I was dragging McManager across the lot!’ After ordering at the drive-thru April 23, Nolan became angry when she was told the restaurant’s cheeseburgers didn’t come with mayonnaise. Witnesses said she threw the burger back through the drive-thru window. That’ll teach um! The manager offered her another burger but the Beep, Beep! Nolan testified she was startled by a car horn, accelerated and accidentally hit Jenkins. Then hers lips fell off, her legs swelled like mellons (from the salt) and her hand fell off in the mayonnaise jar. I mean really. If you are going to enjoy a cheeseburger, everyone knows the key is ketchup, not mayonnaise. |
| Posted by:Dragon Fly |
| #9 Oho! Joe! You are in touch with your inner-Jew! ;) |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-12-5 6:31:07 PM |
| #8 Actually, I question the propriety of letting mayonnaise anywhere near cheese. IMHO, the combination is nausea-making. |
| Posted by: Joe 2003-12-5 5:56:41 PM |
| #7 I paid $.70 for this cheeseburger and it better be done the way I want it!!!!!! |
| Posted by: OminousWhatever 2003-12-5 2:51:40 PM |
| #6 Then her lips fell off... No, actually, then she roared off the wrong way down a one-way street. This is the most pathetic testimony you are likely to hear in your lifetimes (from today's Houston Chronicle): I gave her everything she asked for," a tearful Jenkins [the manager/victim] told jurors Thursday. "I put mayo on her burger. I took off the onions and mustard. What did I do to deserve this?" She's been "unable to fulfill [her] wifely duties" ever since. Waynetta, on the other hand, has a 1997 conviction for assault when she hit her ex-lover's girlfriend with her car. |
| Posted by: Angie Schultz 2003-12-5 1:32:38 PM |
| #5 Next time it will be a accident when a JCpenny manager is killed in the store by a BMW. " I was just looking for a parking place and she wouldn't move! It's not my fault! " |
| Posted by: Charles 2003-12-5 12:48:38 PM |
| #4 What dark game are you playing? Lettuce? On a McD Cheezboogie? Wheels within wheels. Something wicked this drive-thru comes... |
| Posted by: .com 2003-12-5 10:07:02 AM |
| #3 Evidently she didn't realize she was at a Burger Koenig You vill Haf It Our Vay |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-12-5 10:04:22 AM |
| #2 Did the burger have lettuce on it? |
| Posted by: Anonymous 2003-12-5 9:52:49 AM |
| #1 Waynetta. Right. Say no more! |
| Posted by: .com 2003-12-5 9:02:20 AM |