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| Fifth Column | |
| Horrifying US Secret Weapon Unleashed In Baghdad | |
| 2003-12-09 | |
| Indymedia’s laugh of the day. EFL On that date, al-Ghazali and his family sheltered in their house as a fierce street battle erupted in his neighborhood. In the midst of the fighting, he noticed that the Americans had called up an oddly configured tank. Then to his amazement the tank suddenly let loose a blinding stream of what seemed like fire and lightning, engulfing a large passenger bus and three automobiles. Within seconds the bus had become semi-molten, sagging "like a wet rag" as he put it. He said the bus rapidly melted under this withering blast, shrinking until it was a twisted blob about the dimensions of a VW bug. As if that were not bizarre enough, al-Ghazali explicitly describes seeing numerous human bodies shriveled to the size of newborn babies. By the time local street fighting ended that day, he estimates between 500 and 600 soldiers and civilians had been cooked alive as a result of the mysterious tank-mounted device.
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| Posted by:Chuck Simmins |
| #14 Was this from Indymedia or Indiana Jones? Did they unleash the Ark of the Covenant? |
| Posted by: Uncle Joe 2003-12-9 11:54:09 PM |
| #13 "Introducing the new, improved Ronco Muhej-a-matic! It slices, it dices, it get's 'em ready for God to sort 'em out! Now only $1,999,999 at your local arms merchant?" Some restrictions apply. Not available where prohibited by law. You must be 18 years of age or older to operate the Muhej-a-matic. All sales final. No batteries or fuel oil included. Offer not available in Indiana or Rhode Island. |
| Posted by: snellenr 2003-12-9 7:07:37 PM |
| #12 If I'm not mistaken, George Forman is the pitchman for this new Super weapon. Or is this a Ronco product? |
| Posted by: Islam Sucks 2003-12-9 4:57:36 PM |
| #11 Ah Braniac we are brothers. I also suffer from TF. |
| Posted by: Shipman 2003-12-9 4:24:09 PM |
| #10 SWEET. Sounds like they definitely crossed the streams--Woo Hoo! |
| Posted by: Jennie Taliaferro 2003-12-9 3:47:52 PM |
| #9 It pales in comparison to my flatulence after beer and gas station burritos. |
| Posted by: Brainiac 2003-12-9 3:47:49 PM |
| #8 Hey, does anybody know when they're going to patch super-duper-melter-gun this into the latest version of America's Army? I can't wait to try it out. *g* |
| Posted by: Laurence of the Rats 2003-12-9 3:28:37 PM |
| #7 Dammit! I didn't authorize any live-fire tests of the new Top-Secret Imperial Plasma Cannon! Heads will roll! |
| Posted by: GW 2003-12-9 3:12:50 PM |
| #6 Of course all the troops had to wear their X-ray glasses during the operation. |
| Posted by: Cyber Sarge (VRWC CA Chapter) 2003-12-9 2:53:19 PM |
| #5 Ghostbusters. Hmmm... "Whatever you do, DON'T cross the streams!" |
| Posted by: Dave D. 2003-12-9 2:35:34 PM |
| #4 Isn't this the thing they used in Ghostbusters? Guess the army's pretty confident that Saddam is dead. |
| Posted by: BH 2003-12-9 2:15:00 PM |
| #3 Martians? No, we've finally copied the Master's shrink-matic ray! |
| Posted by: Robert Crawford 2003-12-9 2:11:07 PM |
| #2 See, that deal we made with the Martians at Area 51 did pay off. |
| Posted by: Steve 2003-12-9 1:53:01 PM |
| #1 The Death RayTM on an Abrams? Sweet... |
| Posted by: Raj 2003-12-9 1:52:54 PM |