Thank God Saddam is finally back in American hands! He must have really missed us. Man, he sure looked bad! But, at least he got a free dental exam today. That’s something most Americans can’t get.
Don’t forget the free shave and haircut, the homeless can’t get those in Bush Amerika either.
America used to like Saddam. We LOVED Saddam. We funded him. We armed him. We helped him gas Iranian troops. But then he screwed up. He invaded the dictatorship of Kuwait

Yes! Yes! The dictatorship of Kuwait! Kuwait, which is barely large enough to hold all its mass graves, full of... ummm...

and, in doing so, did the worst thing imaginable — he threatened an even BETTER friend of ours: the dictatorship of Saudi Arabia, and its vast oil reserves. The Bushes and the Saudi royal family were and are close business partners, and Saddam, back in 1990, committed a royal blunder by getting a little too close to their wealthy holdings. Things went downhill for Saddam from there.

Ho hum. It's all about o-o-o-i-i-i-l-l-l zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

But it wasn’t always that way. Saddam was our good friend and ally. We supported his regime. It wasn’t the first time we had helped a murderer. We liked playing Dr. Frankenstein.

"Whaddya think, Igor? Think this nose'll fit?"

We created a lot of monsters — the Shah of Iran, Somoza of Nicaragua, Pinochet of Chile — and then we expressed ignorance or shock when they ran amok and massacred people. We liked Saddam because he was willing to fight the Ayatollah. So we made sure that he got billions of dollars to purchase weapons.

Uhhh... Mikey? We didn't have to give him billions to purchase weapons. He had an entire prosperous country to loot. That's why it's not prosperous anymore...

Weapons of mass destruction. That’s right, he had them. We should know — we gave them to him!
Gee Mike, I thought the WMDs were a ruse to take his oil?
We allowed and encouraged American corporations to do business with Saddam in the 1980s. That’s how he got chemical and biological agents so he could use them in chemical and biological weapons. Here’s the list of some of the stuff we sent him (according to a 1994 U.S. Senate report):

* Bacillus Anthracis, cause of anthrax.
* Clostridium Botulinum, a source of botulinum toxin.
* Histoplasma Capsulatam, cause of a disease attacking lungs, brain, spinal cord, and heart.
* Brucella Melitensis, a bacteria that can damage major organs.
* Clostridium Perfringens, a highly toxic bacteria causing systemic illness.
* Clostridium tetani, a highly toxigenic substance.

And here are some of the American corporations who helped to prop Saddam up by doing business with him: AT&T, Bechtel, Caterpillar, Dow Chemical, Dupont, Kodak, Hewlett-Packard, and IBM.

Well, that makes sense. AT&T's deeply involved in the development of... ummm... telecommunications equipment. That's next thing to weapons of mass destruction, ain't it? Bechtel? Whoa! You can't have oppression without some major construction activity. Caterpillar? That was probably for burying all his victims in mass graves. They make graders specifically for that purpose, y'know. Dow Chemical? It was probably them that developed all that nerve gas, rather than Sammy's scientists. The recipes for chlorine and mustard gas are pretty complicated, aren't they? Dupont helped them, of course, and Kodak sold them film to take pictures of the people they killed, pictures which were then printed on Hewlett-Packard printers, using software provided by IBM. Boy, not much gets by old Mikey, does it?

We were so cozy with dear old Saddam that we decided to feed him satellite images so he could locate where the Iranian troops were. We pretty much knew how he would use the information, and sure enough, as soon as we sent him the spy photos, he gassed those troops. And we kept quiet. Because he was our friend, and the Iranians were the "enemy." A year after he first gassed the Iranians, we reestablished full diplomatic relations with him! Later he gassed his own people, the Kurds. You would think that would force us to disassociate ourselves from him. Congress tried to impose economic sanctions on Saddam, but the Reagan White House quickly rejected that idea — they wouldn’t let anything derail their good buddy Saddam. We had a virtual love fest with this Frankenstein whom we (in part) created.

Yeah. That's just the way I remember it, too... Kinda. Sorta.

And, just like the mythical Frankenstein, Saddam eventually spun out of control.

"Igor! The net!"

He would no longer do what he was told by his master. Saddam had to be caught. And now that he has been brought back from the wilderness, perhaps he will have something to say about his creators. Maybe we can learn something... interesting. Maybe Don Rumsfeld could smile and shake Saddam’s hand again. Just like he did when he went to see him in 1983.
Yawn.. Oh, sorry, I nodded off. Continue.
Maybe we never would have been in the situation we’re in if Rumsfeld, Bush, Sr., and company hadn’t been so excited back in the 80s about their friendly monster in the desert. Meanwhile, anybody know where the guy is who killed 3,000 people on 9/11? Our other Frankenstein?? Maybe he’s in a mouse hole.
He’s rotting in a cave in Afghanistan.
So many of our little monsters, so little time before the next election.
True, there’s Syria, Saudi Arabia, North Korea, Iran, France, so many countries, so little time.

We created them all, you know. We created Luxembourg, too. And Moldavia. I take personal credit for Samoa.

Stay strong, Democratic candidates. Quit sounding like a bunch of wusses. These bastards sent us to war on a lie, the killing will not stop, the Arab world hates us with a passion, and we will pay for this out of our pockets for years to come. Nothing that happened today (or in the past 9 months) has made us ONE BIT safer in our post-9/11 world. Saddam was never a threat to our national security.
But Mike, what about those WMDs you tell us Sammy had?
Only our desire to play Dr. Frankenstein dooms us all.
Doom, I tell you! Doom!
Yours, Michael Moore