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| Nearly 1 million not killed in Times Square |
| 2004-01-01 |
| Nearly 1 million revelers rang in the new year by not being killed in terror attacks in Times Square. With the dropping of the traditional crystal ball the old was rung out and the new rung in, as terrorists seethed worldwide. Stunned prognosticators of doom had varied comments. Connecticut congressman Christopher Shays told a TV station that he wouldn't go to New York's Times Square "for anything." He also urged New Year's revelers not to go, citing terrorism fears. Ignoring Shays, revelers clapped, cheered, hugged, kissed, and felt each other up as the year changed. With police snipers posted on rooftops and helicopters patrolling overhead, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and guest of honor, former Iraq prisoner of war Shoshana Johnson, sent the 1,070-pound crystal ball on a 60-second drop that culminated at the stroke of midnight. "It was brilliant," said Tanya Starkin, a 23-year-old waitress from Ireland, as fireworks lighted up the sky. "Everyone was so worried about everything, and now everything is good." Not everyone was happy with the effect. Al Qaeda member Abu Mohammed Al Ablaj stated that "They (Americans) should prepare ... their coffins, hospitals and graves. The coming days will be full of surprises and great events which will make them a historic example." As Congressman Shays slunk off for an undisclosed location, tired revelers blew razzberries in his general direction and wondered if they were too drunk to get a little. "It's a new year," an unidentified survivor said. "We survived the last one, maybe we'll survive this one." "I heard Britney's gonna flash her boobs in her next video," said another. "Happy New Year!" cried a third. |
| Posted by:Fred Pruitt |
| #5 Uhhhhh....when's that Britney Video coming out? |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-1-1 8:24:02 PM |
| #4 I've heard that Gephart is mad because it was a 'miserable failure'..... |
| Posted by: CrazyFool 2004-1-1 3:18:09 PM |
| #3 Osama Bin Laden ( whos name translates roughly into " wet spot on a cave wall") could not be reached for comment. People in Guantanamo familiar with OBL said that for new years, OBL preferred to dress one of the goats in a burka and dance the night away to the infidel "Dick Clarks New Years Rockin Eve". |
| Posted by: frank martin 2004-1-1 2:22:24 PM |
| #2 I can already hear the socialist whine for 2004 - "it's Bush's fault that there COULD have been a disaster in Times Square, but the administration has done NOTHING to make America safer from terrorism." And they'll say it with a straight face, too (and then their lips will fall off). Hey, anyone heard from osama lately? It's hard to be an icon to the islamofascists if you let those infidels party like that. |
| Posted by: 4thInfVet 2004-1-1 1:41:43 PM |
| #1 farbeit for the NY press not to look at the glass as half full - Newsday: "But in other parts of the city, 2004 began violently, with two homicides and at least 10 other shootings and stabbings in the early morning hours." with that many millions of people partying and drinking, is it any wonder there were a few idiots behaving very badly? Shays is still a pussy |
| Posted by: Frank G 2004-1-1 1:27:32 PM |