ISLAMABAD, Pakistan (AP) - For the first time ever, Pakistan will reduce the size of its army, but military officials said Wednesday the planned reduction by 50,000 men will not hurt fighting strength.
| They're eliminating the 666th Lashkar Division, so I think that statement is true. |
The reduction is not related to next month's peace talks with archrival India, officials said, but rather is aimed at saving money and modernizing the Islamic nation's armed forces.
| "Moderinizing" and "Islamic" do not belong in the same sentence. |
Pakistan, a key U.S. ally in its war on terrorism and one of Asia's poorest countries, has an army of more than 500,000 soldiers and spends about 20 percent of its annual $14 billion budget ineffectually on defense.
| $3 billion doesn't go far even in Pakland. |
Top military commanders, including army chief and president Gen. Pervez Musharraf, were briefed on the downsizing plan Tuesday. Pakistan army spokesman Maj. Gen. Shaukat Sultan said it was the first time in Pakistan's 57-year history that the army's manpower would be reduced. The cuts would come in the areas of logistics and administration, he said.
| "Achmed! They're eliminating the 304th Donkey Cart Regiment! The bahstards!" |
"It is part of a restructuring plan, and while doing so we will not reduce the combatant force," he told The Associated Press. "It in no way will effect our fighting potential."
| Sure, just you wait til you need a donkey cart. |
The substantial savings made in reducing the army's payroll by 50,000 men and donkeys would be used to upgrade its fighting capability, he said. Pakistan had frozen its defense forces budget in the past few years, he said. "The future battlefield will be different from what we have seen in the past," he said. "We are replacing men with machines to use new technology."
A military statement said Musharraf also approved the army's plan to stop using combat soldiers as officers' personal assistants and reassign them to operational duties.
"Mahmoud! My slippers!"
"A thousand apologies, sir, but I've been reassigned."
"Really? Why wasn't I told? And just who are you replacing?"
"A donkey, sir." |
The huge burden of beasts the armed forces on Pakistan's finances has been largely justified by enmity with larger richer, stronger, more intelligent, better looking neighbor India, with which it has fought three disasterous, losing wars routs since independence from Britain in 1947. But tensions have eased in recent months, and in February the nuclear-armed neighbors agreed upon an ambitious donkey trail road map for peace.
| Unemployed soldiers will have more time to plot the next coup. Plus I hear al-Qaeda is hiring. |
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