President Fidel Castro said Saturday that the country would defend itself "to the last drop of blood," declaring Cuba unafraid of a U.S. measures to change the island's four-decade-old socialist system. Speaking for nearly two hours ...
... before hundreds of thousands of people bored out of their skulls during the island's annual May Day celebration, Castro warned U.S. officials to be "calmer, more sensible, wiser and more intelligent" before the expected release of a report by the U.S. government's Commission for a Free Cuba. The report is to recommend measures to hasten a democratic transition in Cuba and to provide assistance afterward. Cuban officials have speculated that the recommendations could include military action.
| Military action? That'll sour a cigar. |
Alluding to the upcoming report, Castro said plans were under way to "affect the economy and destabilize the country" and talked about "the same old murderous ideas" - an apparent reference at earlier attempts to assassinate him. Castro said Cuba "will be defended with laws and will be defended with arms when necessary - until the last drop of blood." Since the United States launched its war on Iraq, Cuban officials have repeatedly expressed concerns that the island could be next. American authorities deny they are planning military action against Cuba.
| Pity they don't believe a word we say. |
| They have difficulty believing they're not very important. |
In his speech, Castro also defended Cuba's human rights record, saying that the disappearances, torture and extrajudicial killings that plague other nations do not exist here.
| "We do all our killings out in the open!" |
He said the prison camp for terror suspects at the Guantanamo U.S. Naval Base in the island's east is "one of the most grotesque cases of human rights violations." International rights groups have predictably criticized the treatment of more than 600 suspected al-Qaida and Taliban supporters at the camp.
| We should make it known quietly that we've saved cells for Fidel and Raoul, just to enjoy the resulting paranoid spittle. |
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