| Submit your comments on this article |
| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Government Issues Citizens Official ’Screw You’ Packet |
| 2004-06-30 |
| Heh. WASHINGTON, DC—In an effort to streamline degradation of the American populace and consolidate all forms of bureaucratic hassle into one convenient mailing, federal officials announced Monday that, beginning in 2005, the government will issue all citizens an annual "Screw You" packet. The packet, which is to be distributed in conjunction with federal tax forms, will condense the government’s countless methods of abuse into a single handy 9x12 envelope. "The federal government’s current citizen-persecution system is inefficient and wasteful," said U.S. Sen. Wayne Allard (R-CO), who spearheaded the congressional task force that developed the "Screw You" packet. "This compact packet is not only cost-effective, it’s user-friendly and intuitive. Simple instructions and easy-to-remember acronyms make the filing process as quick and painless as possible." The packet’s easy-to-understand forms will free citizens of the nightmare of red tape normally associated with federal filings. Filling out and returning the "Screw You" packet is mandatory and easy. |
| Posted by:mojo |
| #1 God, I wish the Onion hadn't gone to a subscription-system for viewing their archives; I used to love browsing them . . . |
| Posted by: The Doctor 2004-07-01 10:58:46 AM |