A man was arrested on his 23rd birthday after a police officer saw him nude and covered with nacho cheese from a pool snack bar.
| Where's the camera crew from "COPS" when you need them? |
| I've been nude, but I can't recall ever having been covered with nacho cheese... |
Michael P. Monn was arrested early Sunday in the parking lot outside the pool.
An officer saw a nude man carrying a box of Frito Lay snacks and a container of nacho cheese run toward a Jeep in the lot and stopped him.
| "You! With the hairy buttocks! Stop or I'll shoot!" |
"The male had nacho cheese in his hair, on his face and on his shoulders," Maryville Police Department officer Scott Spicer reported.
| I don't want to know where he was hiding the chips. |
"The nude male had a strong odor of alcohol and was semi-incoherent."
| We saw that one coming, didn't we? |
| I am so surprised! That's never happened before, has it? |
Investigators said someone climbed an 8-foot fence, broke into the pool snack bar through a window, threw nacho cheese on a wall and scattered chips on the ground. About $40 in chips and $7 in nacho cheese were stolen.
| Got drunk, got the munchies, etc... |
Monn was charged with burglary, theft of less than $500, vandalism less than $500 and public intoxication and was cited for indecent exposure. He was being held at the Blount County Jail in lieu of a $9,300 bond.
| This'll look real good on your resume. |
"What're yez gonna do when yez get out?"
"I think I'll be a guidance counselor..." |
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