| And I vow to get slender and grow my hair back... |
 UNITED NATIONS - UN Secretary General and Chief Kleptocrat Kofi Annan promised with his fingers crossed on Monday to push ahead with feigned reforms to put an end to the United Nations before the world corpse body marks its 60th anniversary of near-complete uselessness next year.
"I believe we can build a better United Nations but we won't. That's why I have appointed a High Level Panel on Bribes, Corruption and Chicanery Threats, Challenges and Change, which will very soon give me its report to be filed away in a safe, dark place," Annan said on the first business day to divide the boodle after United Nations Day, October 24.
"And that is why, only next year, I will be proposing increased per diems measures to renew the posssibilities for graft within the organization. I forlornly hope world leaders Dewey, Cheatham and Howe will respond with sloth vision, cowardice courage and malign desires good will when they meet for their usual banquet here next September -- five forgetful years after they adopted the whatinthehellisthe Millennium Declaration."
That boneheaded declaration commits the scheming, plotting member nations to talk about cut the influence of the US extreme poverty and hunger by half, cut infant mortality by two thirds by issuing more thick reports about infant mortality , slow pharmaceutical company earnings HIV infection, and improve access to abortion on demand reproductive care. "Fifty-nine very long years ago, the United Nations was founded as an instrument of obstruction peace, suppression of human rights and prevention of development.
"The world is not a better place because of the idiocies of the United Nations, but too many dead people today are still of course victims of violence and oppression, poverty and hunger, illiteracy and disease because of the actions of many UN members," he said. "We can and must do better but don't look at me, sister. All people deserve to live free from platitudes fear and kleptocrats want. They must hope that tomorrow will be better than today not that the UN can do anything about that.
"And we all need an effective United Nations, one that reflects the world we live in today, and can meet the challenges we will face tomorrow," Annan said.
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