From a blog, but not one many here visit, I'll be and well worth an exemption. Go to the link for Poor Horatio's full lament. It's almost 200 years since Lord Nelson's famous naval victory overThe French and Spanish in the Battle of Trafalgar. To kick-start the Anniversary celebrations, an actor dressed as Nelson posed for pictures on the River Thames at Greenwich. But before he was allowed to board an RNLI Lifeboat, safety officials made him wear a lifejacket over his 19th century admiral's uniform.
How Nelson would have fared if he had been subject to modern health and safety regulations.
You are now on the deck of the recently renamed British Flagship, HMS Appeasement.
"Order the signal, Hardy."
"Aye, aye sir."
"Hold on, that's not what I dictated to the signal officer. What's the meaning of this?"
"Sorry sir?"
"England expects every person to do his duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability. What gobbledegook is this?"
"Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting 'England' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."
"Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."