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| Home Front: Politix |
| Florida Kerry supporters meet for group therapy |
| 2004-12-03 |
| From the 'Point and Laugh' department.... EFL.... Twenty John Kerry supporters met for their first group therapy session in South Florida Thursday, screaming epithets at President Bush as they shared their emotions with licensed mental health counselors. The first of several free noontime therapy sessions at the American Health Association in Boca Raton was designed to treat what mental health counselors have dubbed Post Election Selection Trauma (PEST). "If I had a cardboard cutout of President Bush, and these people wanted to throw darts at it, I would let them do it," Robert J. Gordon, AHA executive director, told the Boca News after the session. This guy is a mental health professional??? "It's no joke. People with PEST were traumatized by the election. If you even mention religion, their faces turn blister-red as they shout at Bush." Although the meeting was closed to the press, AHA therapists obtained permission from participants to provide an anonymous transcript to the Boca Raton News. Gordon said the participants also granted reluctant permission to open up next Thursday's meeting to the general press. Reporters will be forbidden from taking photographs or using the real names of patients. "The media outlets, especially Rush Limbaugh and his ilk on talk radio, scare our patients to death," said Gordon, facilitator for the meetings. Three words: GET A LIFE. "More than anything else, people with PEST tremble physically." Gordon said the Kerry supporters in therapy are predominantly Jewish and older than 50. Most are registered independents and all live in Palm Beach County. You know fark.com has a special 'Florida' tag for stories like this. Perhaps its something in the water? "We mostly let them vent during the first session, According to AHA officials, symptoms of PEST are similar to post-traumatic stress disorder. They include nightmares, sleeplessness, hostility, listlessness, and emotional outbursts including threats to leave the country. I have better treatment (probably less costly too). Give them a 1 way ticket to the workers paridise North Korea or that stanction of freedom and tolorence Iran.... They've been zapped so many times that they're on the verge of giving up on politics." Cooperman, also a practicing psychic, added, "One person today said he thinks the country is now run by fascists. The AHA, using a holistic approach to health that has been mocked as new age voodoo by some national talk show hosts, has stressed to patients that their post-election emotions are normal and deserve to be taken seriously. "These people talk about the 2000 election being stolen," Gordon said. "They talk about Theresa LePore and the Ohio recount. They feel it's the 'Right House,' not the White House. They feel the world is not safe with George W. Bush as president. They spewed out a lot of anger. They are angry at the Democratic Party for being aimless and leaderless. They have a right to these feelings." Bullshit. Here is the cure and I won't even charge you for it: Slap them across the face a couple of times, tell them to get a farking life and deliver a good swift hard kick to the ass to send them out the door. The Boca Raton News first reported on Nov. 9 that depressed Florida Kerry supporters were seeking trauma therapy in the wake of the Nov. 2 presidential election. One Boca psychologist alone, Douglas Schooler, eventually treated 20 Kerry voters with intense hypnotherapy — for a sliding fee. The trauma specialist, whose bills were covered by clients' insurance companies, Thats right folks -- *you* paid for it via your insurance premiums! was later accused by some colleagues of unethically "cashing in" on the misery of Kerry voters. In interviews with the Boca News, Schooler said many of the Kerry supporters had visited him for severe mental problems prior to the election. I wonder how much of their Election problems were 'suggested' by their therapists.... Unlike Schooler, the AHA is a registered Florida non-profit and its therapists do not charge for sessions. Conservative talk show hosts Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh recently offered their own "free therapy," irking the AHA counselors. Sean Salai can be reached at ssalai@bocanews.com or 561-893-6427. |
| Posted by:CrazyFool |
| #5 Here's hoping a few freeper trolls sign up for group therapy and bring a tape recorder. But I've got dibs on royalty rights. |
| Posted by: lex 2004-12-03 5:36:16 PM |
| #4 Maybe the time would be better spent learning how to properly fill out a butterfly ballot. |
| Posted by: Capsu78 2004-12-03 5:10:43 PM |
| #3 C'mon down, my fellow mental health professionals! We're raking it in by the friggin' truckload down here! They'll do anything we tell 'em! A goddam laugh riot! |
| Posted by: Licensed Mental Health Professional 2004-12-03 4:43:23 PM |
| #2 Ahh, got here just ahead of me with it, CF. Oh, well, there's enough snarky comment material here for several strings. |
| Posted by: Atomic Conspiracy 2004-12-03 4:35:23 PM |
| #1 OK....time for some healing. Everyone sing! Session Songbook Kum Bay Ya, Ma Lord............Kum Bay Ya..... Kum Bay Ya Ma Lord........Kum Bay Ya........ Kum Bay Ya Ma Lord..........Kum Bay Ya........ Oh Lord........Kum Bay Ya......... And We shall overcome We shall overcome We shall overcome some day Oh deep in my heart I do believe We shall overcome some day |
| Posted by: BigEd 2004-12-03 4:04:53 PM |