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Britain
"Here, Kitty, Kitty"
2005-03-22
A man has been attacked by a large cat-like animal which jumped out from bushes in his garden during the night. Anthony Holder said a 6ft-long black animal pounced, knocked him to the ground, then mauled him with its claws for about 30 seconds. He said "I am 6ft and weigh 15 stone and it was considerably stronger and bigger than me. This thing was huge." Police were called to Sydenham Park in south-east London and one officer saw a cat "about the size of a Labrador dog".
and promptly peed his pants
Armed officers arrived soon after and a search of the nearby railway line and allotments was carried out.
Looking for a 6 foot black cat on a dark night in a dark rail line. I've seen this movie, it doesn't end well.
Mr Holder was looking for his kitten at the bottom of his garden, which backs onto woodland, when the powerful creature attacked him. He described how a "big black figure pounced" and he was "in its claws for about 30 seconds". "Its teeth were out and I tried to defend myself and eventually I got the thing off my body." He was scratched all over his body and suffered swelling and bruising to his hand and the back of his head.
That's it? Are we sure it wasn't just a pissed off house cat, a panther should have left him looking like a pile of hamburger
The animal, which Mr Holder is convinced was a panther, then went and sat in the garden next-door and he called the police The Metropolitan Police have mounted extra patrols in the area, which is largely residential and backs on to a railway line. They have warned people not to approach the animal and to keep pets inside.
Down here in Texas we'd just stake out a goat in the backyard and handle it ourselves
The RSPCA and London Zoo are being consulted for specialist advice.
"Alan Quartermain, call for you on line 1"
Inquiries are also being made to trace exactly where the animal may have come from.
Posted by:Steve

#8  I am sure it was UFO. (unidentified feline object)
Posted by: Sobiesky   2005-03-22 12:37:45 PM  

#7  Sounds like the elusive Whampass Cat of South Alabama. Very seldom ever seen, the Whampass Cat gets it's name from the fact it can whamp the ass of just about everything. It is attracted by the smell of catnip but repelled by the smell of a veteranarians office. It will also dissapear at the mere mention of the words "bath" or "vet". Most research on the animal was done by Professor Claude Balls, a graduate of that famous cow and tractor school, Auburn University.
Posted by: Deacon Blues   2005-03-22 12:17:26 PM  

#6  I think it's just a more advanced form of the Chupacabra. Our secret military bases in Puerto Rico created it, donchya know? We have bases in England still, right? Hmmm, coincidence?

(Heh, heh. I couldn't help it.)
Posted by: nada   2005-03-22 11:12:30 AM  

#5  Did they say how many beers he'd had?

And whether his wife had had her nails done lately? ;-p
Posted by: Barbara Skolaut   2005-03-22 11:10:22 AM  

#4  If my count is right, this should be titled,
"CATS : WHY DO THEY HATE US, PART VII"
Posted by: BigEd   2005-03-22 10:57:08 AM  

#3  Another giant cat of England. They seem to nest there. Odd.
Posted by: Shipman   2005-03-22 10:55:31 AM  

#2  Either her or..."CATZIRRA!!!"
Posted by: tu3031   2005-03-22 10:45:07 AM  

#1  Probably just Nastassja Kinski out for a stroll. Pay no mind...
Posted by: mojo   2005-03-22 10:42:05 AM  

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