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| Europe |
| EU Bosses Told "No Reckless Competition In the Sauna" |
| 2005-05-01 |
| The EU gets tough on own terrorists at last Ever the masters of punctilious regulation, the European Union's 25 Commissioner have outdone themselves with a code of conduct for their new and beautifully-appointed Brussels sauna. A 10-point code sent to Peter Mandelson and his colleagues advises them on etiquette in the mixed facility, which opened last week. Nudity is de rigueur, according to the commission's infrastructure office, but bravado is not. "Reckless competition about who stands heat best is out of the question. Leave your clothes in the dressing room - nakedness is natural," the code tells its 18 male and seven female commissioners. "Sweating makes swimsuits uncomfortable." The list of dos and don'ts is comprehensive. Commissioners in the sauna, installed in the EU's recently renovated Berlaymont headquarters in Brussels, are advised to take their time, allowing "at least an hour and a half" for each session. Showers are required beforehand "to moisten the skin and remove any possible body or fragrant odours" and they are reminded to dry themselves with a towel afterwards. "You can also lie down and even close your eyes for a while if you feel like it," the code suggests. The "ritual is meant to be relaxing" so "hurry and noise" are frowned upon. Use of the "whisk" - a bunch of birch twigs, bound together and used to beat the skin and enhance circulation - comes in for attention. It is not recommended on the first sauna as "the skin has not yet softened adequately". Commissioners are advised to cool off with a "refreshing drink and a salty snack to your personal taste". The VIP sauna, which operates five days a week and at weekends on special request, is only for commissioners, heads of cabinet and special guests. A separate sauna for the rest of the commission's staff will offer all-male and all-female sessions, with mixed session on Fridays. Francoise le Bail, a spokesman for the commission, denied that politicians were over-indulged. She said that saunas were installed in the commission's temporary head office in 1995 after Sweden and Finland joined the bloc, to make staff feel at home. Should newcomers to Brussels such as Mr Mandelson - who joined six months ago - need more advice, they can call on their Swedish colleague, Margot Wallstrom. The commissioner with the tricky job of "selling" the controversial EU constitution, Ms Wallstrom was said to be among the more assiduous sauna-users during her previous stint as commissioner for the environment. The saunas, with taxpayer-funded showers and whisks, have their critics. "It would seem that the commission needs instructions in even the simplest things in life," said Christopher Heaton-Harris, a Conservative MEP. "Not many offices have saunas for their top executives even in the companies that perform well. The commissioners are just pampering themselves." The commission moved back into the star-shaped building last year after being forced to leave in 1991 while asbestos was removed from the structure. The renovation overran by many years, and went tens of millions of euros over budget. |
| Posted by:Captain America |
| #9 tt - I'm sure it will involve fact-finding missions to the world's toniest resorts (first class, of course), committies to study whether they should study whether to appoint a committee, etc. Ad nauseum. And the rule, when it is finally promulgated, will be 17 pages long. In each language. Forget about the jihadis in their midst - the Euros will regulate themselves out of existence. |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2005-05-01 2:46:29 PM |
| #8 They're working on it, Barbara. |
| Posted by: too true 2005-05-01 1:18:25 PM |
| #7 God, what a bunch of pathetic losers. What's next - instructions on where and how to breathe? :-( |
| Posted by: Barbara Skolaut 2005-05-01 12:54:49 PM |
| #6 Wouldn't it be fun if about 500 of the sods were having their sauna when the door became latched and the temperature went up to about 250 F? They could thereafter be referred to as "The Lobstermen from Marseilles". |
| Posted by: Anonymoose 2005-05-01 11:46:24 AM |
| #5 I've got a salty snack for ya... |
| Posted by: Bill Clinton 2005-05-01 11:09:56 AM |
| #4 You would think the pending French vote would be enough to make them sweat. |
| Posted by: Tom 2005-05-01 10:58:44 AM |
| #3 And stop fluffing yourselves before entering. I am NOT impressed. |
| Posted by: Margot Wallstrom 2005-05-01 7:27:18 AM |
| #2 Sweet. Maybe it's time for a change of scenery. |
| Posted by: Kofi Kofi Anon 2005-05-01 6:29:23 AM |
| #1 Wander in around 10,at noon head off to a 3-4 hour "working lunch"(per Margot's blog),then head to the sauna to relieve stress for an hour and a half(we have no choice,that's how long we are required to use it!),it's now about 5,and another successful day of hard work making Europe work is over. Where do I sign up? |
| Posted by: Stephen 2005-05-01 1:59:50 AM |