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| -Short Attention Span Theater- |
| Man fakes heart attack with electric underpants |
| 2005-07-05 |
| A Lincolnshire man who allegedly used a pair of "electric underpants" to fake the symptoms of a heart attack has had his £300,000 damages claim against electric iron manufacturer Morphy Richards unplugged by a judge. Curses! Foiled again! According to the Guardian, 41-year-old Marcus Danquah had pursued Morphy Richards since 1999 after his wife found him sparko in the kitchen apparently as a result of a blast from a 42400 Comfi Grip iron. Danquah claimed he had been floored by the wrongly-wired iron, although later evidence suggested the alarm engineer had tampered with the iron so that it gave anyone who touched it an electric shock. Bzzzzzt! Who's a clever monkey, then? The claimant's alleged electric shenanigans did not end there, however. Judge Hamilton explained: "The claimant was taken to Lincoln hospital and was put on an electrocardiogram which might have suggested that he suffered a heart attack." "might have"? There is no try, Padawan. The judge continued that Morphy Richards claimed Danquah interfered with the electrocardiogram readings by deploying a pair of "electric underpants"®. Although technical details of the hi-tech underwear are not recorded, the judge noted: "The defence included evidence from an eminent cardiologist who said that the results in the hospital were produced as a result of interference. Some numerous other experts and factual witnesses have said that the entire claim is a sham." I'm Shocked, shocked!... Danquah was not in court to hear the verdict due to a last-minute admission to hospital for depression and chest pains. The judge was unimpressed, noting that the late submission of documents relating to Danquah's sudden hospitalisation "suggests to me that Mr Danquah is not unwell". "You're a loony. Next case!" Accordingly, judge Hamilton dismissed Danquah's claim, and ordered him to pay "substantial" costs. The failed claimant has already spent £18,000 in legal fees and faces losing his home. |
| Posted by:mojo |
| #2 Is his hair permanently curly? |
| Posted by: BigEd 2005-07-05 16:39 |
| #1 Sparko? |
| Posted by: Shipman 2005-07-05 16:30 |