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China-Japan-Koreas
Pine Pollen Nutritive Succus Made in DPRK
2005-07-27
Tastewise, I'll bet it does succus...
Pyongyang, July 26 (KCNA) -- Pyongyang University of Medicine in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea has made pine pollen nutritive succus. The succus is made by hydrolyzing nutrients of pine pollen. It contains eight kinds of essential amino acid, 12 kinds of nonessential amino acid, nine sorts of vitamins, 15 sorts of microelements and other ingredients including sex hormone and growth-stimulating matters.
Tastes great on tree bark. But not moss for some reason...
It help maintain healthy succus membranes...
It is very efficacious for malnutrition and digestive disorders. In particular, it improves liver trouble, nutritional dropsy and liver ascites by removing adipose and increasing the quantity of serum albumin.
Efficacious for malnutrition? Nah, too easy...
Though a coupla bags of Little Tavern burgers will help malnutrition more effectively. But they will give you gas...
The strong acid-fast medicine is also available for the prevention of aging and healing of radiation damage.
Healing of radiation damage? Nah, even easier...
It, which makes it possible to absorb nutritive matters in intestines, is potent for the patients suffering the loss of digestion function and the aged with weak intestines. Its efficacy is not less than that of dried blood plasma. The treatment period is about 15 days and one should take 500 ml of succus a day.
And if you're still alive, you probably weren't sick anyways...
Prof. and Dr.Yun Nam Hak of the university told KCNA that one can take it without a doctor's help and it has no side-effect.
Just look the picture of Kim Jong Il on the bottle. The other bottle...
Posted by:Al Franken

#3  Lil' Kim obviously hasn't tried this one personally.
Posted by: MunkarKat   2005-07-27 16:17  

#2  So now the Succus Membrane Ailment PR Campaign will overshadow my own National Uvula Day of Outrage©? Bahhhh! We have to have priorities....dammit
Posted by: Frank G   2005-07-27 10:50  

#1  The whiplash I get from DPRK stories is truly painful. That they are so hysterical - in both the humorous and maniacal senses - coupled with the underlying truth that this entire country is literally starving just utterly boggles.

Although I have no doubt that the US approach to dealing with this abomination has been dead solid perfect since Dubya took over, it's still the slowest and most painful train wreck I can imagine.

*head shake*

I once wrote that China was history's biggest bunch of losers - 6000+ years of proud toadying is pretty fucking hard to explain to a free man descended from "You talkin' to me?" Jacksonians - but the NorKies come in a close second. Imagine the total brain-fry it takes to create a nation of people willing to calmly fucking starve to death for that little cretin.

You can, indeed, raise humans to accept / believe anything.

Absolutely anything.
Posted by: .com   2005-07-27 10:39  

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