SRINAGAR: Suspected rebels hurled a grenade on a busy road in Indian-held Kashmir on Monday, wounding about a dozen people, police said, hours before the start of talks between Kashmiri separatists and the Indian prime minister. The attack took place in Shopian town, south of Srinagar, summer capital of Jammu and Kashmir state. No militant group claimed responsibility for the attack, which police said was aimed at an army patrol but exploded on the street instead. | I had a minor accident in my back yard a couple or three weeks ago. My peach tree was struck by lightening, as coincidence would have it when the branches were heavy with fruit not quite ready to be picked. I took the chain saw and cut the remains of the tree down, tossing the big chunks into the woods. That left me with a couple hundred peaches lying around the yard, which brought to mind the Kashmir Krazed Killer Korps. Since my house backs to the woods, I tried a minor experiment — a random fruit-flavored grenade toss. Pretending each of the peaches in the yard was a grenade, I picked them up one by one and tossed them at the "target area" in the woods, which was a brush pile. To hit the target, the "grenade" had to go through the gate, to the left of the trunk of a willow tree, to the right of the corner of the shed, high enough to clear the back of a bench, and low enough not to be deflected by the willow branches. Fully 80 percent of my "grenades" landed in the target area, accuracy improving as my arm loosened up, then deteriorating again as antique joints began complaining. Yet in Kashmir, fully 90 percent (possibly more) of grenades miss the "intended" target and shred innocent bystanders. I haven't researched it thoroughly, but I can't recall a grenade incident in Kashmir where there haven't been innocent bystanders. [Pauses to puff ruminatively on battered, reeking pipe. Burns another hole in smoking jacket. Plays a few bars of "Minnie the Moocher" on saxophone.] You don't think, do you, that the target in all these grenade attacks might actually be the innocent bystanders? Naw. That couldn't be it. |
| Obviously you weren't trained by Hek. |
| Anyone in Pakistan with a good arm is busy playing international cricket. The rest of them grew up kicking a soccer ball around and haven't grasped the infidel concept of "throwing". |