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Afghanistan/South Asia
Nuggets from the Urdu press
2005-09-24
Umar Bakri gave terrorist training
According to Khabrain, Sheikh Umar Bakri – recently deported from the UK – used his Al Muhajirun organisation to attract Muslim youth to extremism in British amusement parks, then took the selected ones from amongst them to a village where they were told about the methods of holding and using weapons and making and using bombs. No weapons were, however, actually used during training.

Why was Maulana Fazlur Rehman deported?
Writing in the weekly Azm, Tanvir Qaisar Shahid stated that MMA-JUI leader Maulana Fazlur Rehman was recently deported from the UAE because he had gone and met Libya’s Qaddafi who had in the past insulted the Saudi king who had even withdrawn his ambassador from Libya in protest. It could be that Saudi Arabia asked the UAE to deport him to prevent him from entering Saudi Arabia. It was also possible that the UAE deported him thinking he was Fazlur Rehman Khalil, the militia leader of the banned Harkatul Mujahideen. Maulana Fazlur Rehman had also visited him in Islamabad just a week earlier to hear him say that he should ask the government not to arrest him again.

What do boys do after madrassas?
Writing in the Jang, Nazeer Naji stated that every year, thousands of graduates came out of religious seminaries to look for jobs. They passed the equivalent of FA and BA exams at the seminaries but remained without the basic functional knowledge to do anything productive. They usually became teachers of the Quran, imams and khateebs in functioning mosques. Many got into the auqaf department, others went into the army and rangers to serve as priests, or got into jails to serve as priests for the prisoners. They also went abroad to serve expatriate Pakistanis and benefited from copious community funds there. In time, they competed with one another on the basis of sect, which competition could become quite ugly.

‘Naagin’ takes revenge
According to Khabrain, a pair of cobra snakes entered the house of district health officer Muhammad Nawaz of Phalia. He used a stick and killed the male snake while the naagin (female cobra) fled the house. But after a week the naagin returned and bit the daughter of Nawaz. After that it attacked the second daughter, but she was saved by people. The daughter who was bitten died later on because of the revenge of the naagin.

Hizb al Tahrir recruits in Australia
According to the weekly Azm, Hizb al Tahrir was recruiting Muslims from the Green Acres area of Sydney for Al Qaeda. It stated that Muhammad Atta, the bomber of 9/11, had contacted the Hizb in Germany and that the 7/7 London bomber Shehzad Tanvir also had contacts with Hizb Al Tahrir. The organisation was found distributing pamphlets among the Muslims of Australia. Meanwhile, the head of Islamic Teaching Institute in Australia, Sheikh Khalid Yaseen, had asked Muslims not to make friends with non-Muslim Australians. He also said that disobedient wives should be beaten up and homosexuals should be put to death. The mufti of Australia Sheikh Tajuddin Hilali had condemned this fatwa.

Khar has Bhutto’s last chair
Talking to the Nawa-e-Waqt magazine, Ghulam Mustafa Khar said that he had bought the chair from jail officials on which Zulfikar Ali Bhutto sat for the last time before he was hanged. Bhutto tried to write something the night of his hanging but could not finish it and kept tearing up the pages. The officers wanted him to write and sign something but he did not want this. They beat him so badly that he could not stand up. His hanging was brought forward and he was carried to the gallows on a stretcher but when he realised that he was being filmed, he asked them to let him walk. On the gallows, he just said “finish it” and thus went to his death. His dead body hung for one and a half hours. Before burying him, the officials sprinkled chemicals in the grave. Khar said that he loved being with women and had married five times and had ten children. He said that unfortunately, he had had to divorce his wives on occasion.

Pakistani umpire fondles girl
According to the Jang, a Pakistani umpire who had gone to Malaysia for Azlan Shah hockey tournament, was reported for showing discourtesy to the female hostess of a Kuala Lumpur hotel. The umpire pretended to pin a Pakistani flag on the shirt of the hostess but fondled her breast in the process.

General Zia was great
Writing in the Jang, Abdul Qadir Hassan stated that had Zia-ul-Haq not stood up to Russian imperialism, there would have been no mosques, no Quran, no Muslim names and no Arabic in Pakistan. The Russians would have annexed Pakistan to get to the ‘warm waters’ of the Indian Ocean. Zia was all alone when he confronted the imperialist challenge of Russia which had tasted the blood of Muslims.

General Zia not so great
Writing in the Jang, Irshad Haqqani stated that most rulers of Pakistan were in the habit of spending huge amounts of public funds for their personal good. He remembered that General Zia used to spend colossal sums of public money on himself and his family. He wondered how a man who observed roza and namaz could be guilty of this.

Smelly bathrooms of Kairul Madaris
Writing in the daily Pakistan, Tanwir Qaiser Shahid stated that the head of Multan’s largest madrassa Khairul Madaris had nearly a thousand pupils saying namaz but the bathrooms where they performed their ablutions were extremely dirty and the walls of the seminary were in bad repair. When he met the chief of the madrassa Qari Haneef Jullundhari, he saw that he rode an expensive new Toyota car and that his room was comfortable with rugs and air-conditioners.

‘Naghma’ causes upheaval
According to Sarerahe in the Nawa-e-Waqt, a heejra transvestite named Naghma caused a lot of upheaval at a union council poll in Lahore when he/she announced that he/she was taking part in the elections with the symbol of chiriya (sparrow). He said his sparrow will bring down a whole pack of hawks in the shape of corrupt politicians.
Posted by:Fred

#7  If the rest of the world, and especially the ME, read Fred's Thugburg, tragic faux pas's wouldn't occur. Course, if they shot first and asked questions later, thugburg would be shorter
Posted by: Frank G   2005-09-24 15:05  

#6  In Asia, the Naagin is responsible for deaths. In the US, the Nagin is responsible.
Posted by: Jackal   2005-09-24 13:39  

#5  Alaska Paul that poem is worthy of a lift! Ima stealing it. LOL!!
Posted by: Red Dog   2005-09-24 13:24  

#4  A heejra transvestite named Naghma
Didn't know if it was yeast or smagma
He/she tried his/her best
Not to faint from the test
But the shame of it all was a drag-ma
Posted by: Alaska Paul   2005-09-24 12:42  

#3  He said his sparrow will bring down a whole pack of hawks buzzards in the shape of corrupt politicians.

lumpum up pile 'o Demorats.
/tx mr. sparrow
Posted by: Red Dog   2005-09-24 12:04  

#2  ...It was also possible that the UAE deported him thinking he was Fazlur Rehman Khalil...

I made that exact same mistake a few weeks ago, when I put Khalil's picture on a Fazl story. Fred was kind enough to fix my error without mocking me too much. If it happened to me, it could happen to anybody...
Posted by: Seafarious   2005-09-24 04:30  

#1   revenge of the naagin.

Death to Corvettes!
Posted by: C Shelby   2005-09-24 02:34  

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